Daily Archives: May 23, 2009

Male Bisexuality

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Early recognition.

Excluding both extremes of the spectrum (men who are exclusively gay or exclusively heterosexual) most men fit in the broad middle which can be defined by one of several levels of sexuality.  Early in life most of these men become in touch with their attraction to females; they find the opposite sex enchanting, alluring, exciting and sexually desirable.  They want to spend time with them, have a girlfriend, and they eventually recognize a compelling desire to get married.  It’s simply a matter of crossing paths with the girl he’s attracted to, the one he’s in sync with philosophically, and the one that finds him equally attractive.

Within this broad middle, he may simply enjoy an extraordinary kinship  with another male, or he realizes he feels a  physical attraction to those of his own sex.  The attraction may be compelling, or it may be fleeting and vague, which can be easily ignored though reoccurring given certain circumstances (the sight of a pair of extraordinarily well-fitting jeans).  For the guy at this end of the spectrum, once he finds himself involved in getting his adult life started, he may come to believe these feelings have disappeared entirely, only to discover they haven’t at some point down life’s long road.  It’s like the phantom inside him has gone into hibernation, though certain to reawaken one day.  Near the other end of the spectrum, a young man will most likely be receptive to some kind of physical experience with another male, or he may even pursue m2m sex.  The broad middle ranges from simple male bonding, to irresistible curiosity, to a recognized desire to explore something sexual.

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Almost always a secretive characteristic, sexually developing teenage boys often experience an attraction to other males   It’s not uncommon for boys to masturbate together or masturbate each other, or to explore each others body.  At some point, for most boys, the weight of what he’s been taught about being a man intervenes and he learns to bury these natural desires.  He moves on, shifts his focus over the years to life’s other circumstances: marriage, children, career.  The innocence curiosity of his youth is buried under layers of responsibility. Continue reading →

An Intimate Table for Three

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bisexual-threesome

By Mark S.

Lorena stepped out of the accounting office … MY accounting office! and walked past the cubicles of her coworkers. They waved and smiled, some sadly, as she passed. She entered the large shared office of Craig and Stephen, the co-owners of TreeHuggerz, Inc. Here we go, Lorena, breathe deep and keep your shit together. As usual, the glass doors of the brightly sunlit office were open wide. Craig was sitting behind his desk, resting the weight of his rugged frame on his elbows. Stephen, tall, thin, and childishly energetic, was sitting on the desk and swinging his feet. Both men stared so intently at her that Lorena felt heartsick.

“Come in, Lorena”, said Craig, with his disarming smile.

“And close the doors behind you” added Stephen with a fake sneer.

Lorena’s discomfort tripled as she closed the doors. Craig and Stephen were open with their employees, and closed doors always meant something heavy was going down. She imagined everyone watching the meeting and speculating what was being said. Craig offered her a chair with a sweep of his hand, which she politely declined. Stephen jumped off the desk and moved behind it, standing next to his seated partner. Stephen was trying to act stern and angry, and the effect would have been comical in other circumstances. He was such an exuberant free-spirit that he seemed like a teenager. Grey hair at his temples and the deep laugh lines around his blue eyes were the only evidence that he was well into his forties.

Craig spoke.

“Well, Lorena, tomorrow is Friday. Your last day with us. We were shocked two weeks ago when you gave your notice. We respect your choice, but we REALLY do not want to let you go.”

Oh, Craig, if you only knew what would make me stay. “I know. It’s not an easy decision. I’ve really enjoyed working here. You both have been great to me” Continue reading →

Naked Yoga: A Stripped Down Exercise

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For the past 10 years, Ray Whetstone has been teaching a nude yoga class in Oakland Park. Whetstone demonstrates the pigeon pose. (Sun Sentinel/Article by Michael Laughlin / May 5, 2009)

I am straight.

I repeat that to myself as I walk into a dance studio, pull off my shirt, and drop my shorts and undies onto the wood floor.

I’m surrounded by 17 other nude men – and mirrors.

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In a moment, we’ll start practicing yoga.For 20 years, I’ve taken yoga classes in sweaty gyms, incense-drenched studios and even in an office conference room. But always with my clothes on.

Tonight will be different for me, but not for most of the men in the room. Ray Whetstone has taught naked yoga for more than 10 years in South Florida. I learned about it by stumbling across his site, arcoirisyoga.com.

Arco iris is Spanish for rainbow; most of the men here are gay.

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“The automatic assumption is that nudity is sex,” he says. But not here. He notes that in all his years of teaching, every man’s dog has remained downward.

I place my mat in a corner spot, so I’ll have one neighbor instead of two. In the minutes before class starts, I stretch out in corpse pose, so I won’t have to look. When we stand up to start the class, I tilt my gaze slightly upward, so if I see anything, it’s faces and shoulders.

Then I fill my head with yoga-ese.

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Yoga is all about letting go of external labels that get in your way, I remind myself. Going within. Testing your focus.

Besides, if anyone’s looking to score, it wouldn’t be with this 50-year-old.

“We’ve had straight boys here before,” says Whetstone, who in 1998 became the first openly gay elder ordained by the Presbyterian Church. An optometrist, he commutes to Naples four days a week to work. Teaching naked yoga two nights a week is his recreation. Continue reading →