By Meghan McNamara; The Post, Ohio University
In about seven years as a bisexual, Jody Zupancic encountered her share of misconceptions, from the assumption that she would be open to a threesome to the idea that she simultaneously could have a girlfriend and a boyfriend.
Until she began dating her girlfriend exclusively in December, Zupancic considered herself bisexual since she was 14 and remembers the way friends and family interpreted her sexuality.
“They assume that you’re confused and you’re going through a phase,” said Zupancic, an Ohio University senior studying history who now identifies as a lesbian.
Women who engage in bisexual behavior, however, frequently are viewed as the object of male sexual gratification instead of partners in a relationship, Zupancic said, adding that popular culture contributes to this misconception.
“It’s more of a social thing instead of a more sexual and emotional thing,” she said, referring to the term “barsexual,” which refers to a drunken make-out session between two straight female friends.
But when it comes to men and bisexuality, Ellyn Ruthstrom, president of the Bisexual Resource Center, finds it difficult to think of a pop culture example.
Some sexual researchers seek to prove that male bisexuality doesn’t exist while many film and television story lines involving bisexual women only skim the surface, Ruthstrom said.
“I don’t think I’ve really seen something that really delves deeply into a bisexual woman’s perspective,” she said “A lot of times those women are performing for men. I think that’s really unfortunate that that’s perceived as bisexuality.”
When it comes to men, bisexuality is often viewed as form of denial for gay feelings instead of a legitimate sexual orientation, Ruthstrom said.
Other people view bisexuality as a bridge between heterosexuality and coming out as gay or lesbian instead of an orientation, said Mickey Hart, director of OU’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Center.
“(Bisexuality) doesn’t fit neatly into you’re either this or that. The reality is that there’s a whole spectrum in between,” he said. “It’s not about having men and women at the same time. More often than not it’s about having a committed relationship with a man or a woman.”
When it comes to dating as a bisexual, Zupancic said it was sometimes difficult to find understanding for her sexual orientation.
“If I told a lesbian I was bisexual, there’s less of a chance that she would take me seriously as someone to date,” she said, adding that men seem to regard bisexual women differently.
“The men think it’s insignificant, for fun and not that the woman would actually leave the man for another woman.”
For Randall Hoar, an OU junior studying pre-med, dating as a male bisexual can be difficult especially when it comes to men.
“Most of the time I don’t date, because I don’t know if the person will be understanding,” he said, adding that he mostly dates women when he does get involved. “The guys always think you’re going to be gay.”
Some of Hoar’s gay friends tell him he needs to decide if he likes girls or not, while his straight male friends accept his orientation but prefer not to discuss it.
“I definitely get a double-standard,” he said. “It’s definitely more acceptable for a woman to be bisexual, for a man not so much. I don’t understand it.”
Society, including the gay and lesbian community, seems to be opening up more to bisexual understanding in recent years, but the “bi now, gay later” mentality still lingers, Hoar said.
Even for people within the LGBT community, bisexuality can be confusing, Ruthstrom said.
Although many gay and lesbian organizations started to include bisexuals by the early ’90s, it wasn’t without some resistance, she said.
“I think a lot of younger people do understand bisexuality better, but bi-phobia is definitely not gone within the movement,” she said. “(Some organizations) have done a better job than others in being inclusive and really trying to work toward really having an understanding of bi perspective.”
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Fantastic article. It really is hard to understand the bisexual perspective, and when I realized I was bisexual (at thirteen years old) it was terribly confusing and I just had this huge epiphany that I had never understood the bi perspective in the least amount.