Comments on: What is Bisexuality? http://enlightenedmale2000.com/2009/05/31/what-is-bisexuality/ The diversity of male sexuality. Tue, 22 May 2012 13:53:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: martin http://enlightenedmale2000.com/2009/05/31/what-is-bisexuality/comment-page-1/#comment-6956 martin Wed, 07 Dec 2011 21:40:04 +0000 http://enlightenedmale2000.com/?p=528#comment-6956 Stewart, what came to mind in reading your comment was that you haven't yet met the right bisexual man, the guy you are in sync with. Perhaps you should bide your time, yet keep your eyes open. If the right guy comes your way, your entire perspective will change again. In your case, I think the right guy should also be willing to include your wife, and accordingly treat her as the lovely female she is as opposed to am enigma of some kind. It does sound like your are fortunate to have a wife that understands. I would talk to her, explain you were somewhat disappointed in your experiences to date, that nothing has changed with you emotionally and that you are considering leaving to door open to future adventures. Stewart, what came to mind in reading your comment was that you haven’t yet met the right bisexual man, the guy you are in sync with. Perhaps you should bide your time, yet keep your eyes open. If the right guy comes your way, your entire perspective will change again. In your case, I think the right guy should also be willing to include your wife, and accordingly treat her as the lovely female she is as opposed to am enigma of some kind. It does sound like your are fortunate to have a wife that understands. I would talk to her, explain you were somewhat disappointed in your experiences to date, that nothing has changed with you emotionally and that you are considering leaving to door open to future adventures.

]]> By: stewart http://enlightenedmale2000.com/2009/05/31/what-is-bisexuality/comment-page-1/#comment-6954 stewart Wed, 07 Dec 2011 18:36:30 +0000 http://enlightenedmale2000.com/?p=528#comment-6954 I am a male and have always known that I was attracted to and can have deep romantic and emotional ties to individuals of both sexes. My first intense romantic relationships was with a male, then a female, then a female, then a male. I got married to a woman and was able to be extremely forthright with her that I was bisexual. This would all seem like a good situation: self-awareness, honesty, true love . . . But being bisexual has only gotten harder over the years. In my experience men don't really want to deal with me on the level of bisexuality: it scares straight men, gay men want me to be gay, and bisexual men seem to be busy trying to figure out if this is an identity they are really going to be able to live with in the real world. My wife and I tried having an open relationship, but I would say that this set her up for all sorts of unrealistic fantasies on the part of men who were more titillated by the idea that she was in some "exotic" relationship, than they were actually loving and caring of her. Women wanted to convince her she was lesbian and rescue her from the obviously gay husband she'd fallen for. I've decided that being monogamous works best for me in my relationship to my wife. But she sometimes asks, "so what was that whole 'bi' thing about anyway?" -- as if it were some fantasy or strange idea I've now gotten over. Of course, it isn't something "to get over." It was and is a reality of my potential attractions. But people choose their lovers and partners. Theoretically a straight man could be attracted to half the human race -- just because a bisexual could theoretically be attracted to the entire human race doesn't change the facts of life so very much. I am a male and have always known that I was attracted to and can have deep romantic and emotional ties to individuals of both sexes. My first intense romantic relationships was with a male, then a female, then a female, then a male. I got married to a woman and was able to be extremely forthright with her that I was bisexual. This would all seem like a good situation: self-awareness, honesty, true love . . . But being bisexual has only gotten harder over the years. In my experience men don’t really want to deal with me on the level of bisexuality: it scares straight men, gay men want me to be gay, and bisexual men seem to be busy trying to figure out if this is an identity they are really going to be able to live with in the real world. My wife and I tried having an open relationship, but I would say that this set her up for all sorts of unrealistic fantasies on the part of men who were more titillated by the idea that she was in some “exotic” relationship, than they were actually loving and caring of her. Women wanted to convince her she was lesbian and rescue her from the obviously gay husband she’d fallen for. I’ve decided that being monogamous works best for me in my relationship to my wife. But she sometimes asks, “so what was that whole ‘bi’ thing about anyway?” — as if it were some fantasy or strange idea I’ve now gotten over. Of course, it isn’t something “to get over.” It was and is a reality of my potential attractions. But people choose their lovers and partners. Theoretically a straight man could be attracted to half the human race — just because a bisexual could theoretically be attracted to the entire human race doesn’t change the facts of life so very much.

]]> By: Matthew http://enlightenedmale2000.com/2009/05/31/what-is-bisexuality/comment-page-1/#comment-2775 Matthew Wed, 10 Aug 2011 06:19:01 +0000 http://enlightenedmale2000.com/?p=528#comment-2775 Bi guy out since highschool but it has been difficult. In the art world there is a little more acceptance but not much more. I have had my sexual orientation scrutinized by gay men and straight women. Even if I was completely commited and monogomous. My advise to bi men is seek out relationships with bi women and the more accepting "queer" men. There is a lot of discrimination out there don't expect to be understood. Being out and looking straight meant dozens of "straight" men have come out to me. To be out for man bi men though is you have everything to loose and little to gain. But see if you can at least be out to your female partner. Bi guy out since highschool but it has been difficult. In the art world there is a little more acceptance but not much more. I have had my sexual orientation scrutinized by gay men and straight women. Even if I was completely commited and monogomous. My advise to bi men is seek out relationships with bi women and the more accepting “queer” men. There is a lot of discrimination out there don’t expect to be understood. Being out and looking straight meant dozens of “straight” men have come out to me. To be out for man bi men though is you have everything to loose and little to gain. But see if you can at least be out to your female partner.

]]> By: martin http://enlightenedmale2000.com/2009/05/31/what-is-bisexuality/comment-page-1/#comment-47 martin Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:46:37 +0000 http://enlightenedmale2000.com/?p=528#comment-47 Posted recently on a forum: As a guy it was much harder [to admit I am bisexual], and I've gone through periods of insisting to myself that I was straight. I've told myself that my college experiences didn't make me really bisexual. Deep down I think I've always known it. I've always felt an attraction to women, but also an attraction to other men, although it took a long time to recognize it. The first time a guy came on to me, I felt a combination of fear, excitement, curiosity, and surprise. I'd thought for a long time, "What if I'm bisexual?" But when he kissed me, I wanted to ask him, "Do you know something about me that I don't?" The hardest part, though, was wanting to be part of the gay community, and feeling like I should be part of it, but at the same time feeling rejected because according to all my gay friends there was no such thing as bisexuality. And they only knew me as a guy who dated women, they considered me to be just a really tolerant heterosexual. Not that there's anything wrong with tolerant heterosexuals... Posted recently on a forum:

As a guy it was much harder [to admit I am bisexual], and I’ve gone through periods of insisting to myself that I was straight. I’ve told myself that my college experiences didn’t make me really bisexual.

Deep down I think I’ve always known it. I’ve always felt an attraction to women, but also an attraction to other men, although it took a long time to recognize it. The first time a guy came on to me, I felt a combination of fear, excitement, curiosity, and surprise. I’d thought for a long time, “What if I’m bisexual?” But when he kissed me, I wanted to ask him, “Do you know something about me that I don’t?”

The hardest part, though, was wanting to be part of the gay community, and feeling like I should be part of it, but at the same time feeling rejected because according to all my gay friends there was no such thing as bisexuality. And they only knew me as a guy who dated women, they considered me to be just a really tolerant heterosexual. Not that there’s anything wrong with tolerant heterosexuals…

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