So you’ve recognized the fact you’re attracted to men.  Is that something you regret?  If you walked into a French Quarter voodoo shop in New Orleans and found, among the spider eggs, fly wings, and toad stools, a magic potion that would make you 100% straight, would you grab it up and drink it as fast as you could?

How many gay or bisexual men have asked themselves this question?  I bet 99% of them.  What if a pill would do it, would you swallow two or three  and then stare at yourself in the mirror, waiting for the change, wondering what you will look like straight?  Or perhaps you find out about a tribal dance practiced by young warriors in Kenya that makes real men out of boys; would you put on a loincloth, take up a spear and give it hell around a backyard bonfire come the next full moon?  Given the circumstances gay and bisexual men face in our misguided society, it’s little wonder if some of them would.

But when you get under the surface, below the lifetime of negative self-images and male identity questions, all that history that has glommed together to comprise your uniqueness, would you really want to give up one of the most vivid colors in your rainbow?  You’ve finally gotten past all those gender-identity issues and have learned how to let your thoughts blossom without self-imposed limits–would you really want to force all that  vital roundness back into such a small square hole?

Your liberated sexuality defines far more than the shape of the human body that attracts you, it’s interrelated with other facets of your persona.  It’s likely to make people perceive you as interesting, whether they know about your sexuality or not.  It plays a role in the books you chose to read, the movies you choose to see, the places you choose to travel to, the friends you choose.  Without it, you may not even be interested in books, or you may find yourself lined up with the masses at the next college coed exploitation movie.  You might even identify with those guys in TV beer commercials, heaven forbid.

Your sexuality plays a role in how you see yourself when you look in the mirror every morning, a guy given over to the things in life that really matter.  It broadens the parameters of your definition of intimacy and guides your hands the same way an artist’s hands glide over a canvas.   It fills you with something that feels gratifying and luxurious, whereas so many others have nothing more than an empty void.  It fills your eyes with light, your soul with warmth, your heart with kind of joy most people will never experience.

Your sexuality allows you to perceive things others can’t, perhaps compassion, or understanding, or a broader form of love.  It provides the key to a garden which others are locked out.  So no, whatever you do, don’t take that pill.  We already have far too many poor souls who seek happiness in material things, who define themselves without color, who command personalities that don’t fill small boxes.

If you’ve read this post, you know why I write stories about like-minded men.  I not only identify with them, I am motivated to have them accepted by a broader part of our society.  I want to celebrate male sexuality.  I want to go with the reader into the lives of these men, their minds, their bedrooms, and see the beauty of human diversity.

Martin

Related posts:

1. A Straight Man’s Fantasy
2. Confession of a Straight Guy