G0Ys (Spelled with a zero)

Ahh, the joys of being a man . . .

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G0YS . . .

Seems like a perfect niche for a lot of guys to me, men who don’t identify with homosexuality, but have deep affection, even physical desire, for other men.  G0ys appears to be a movement of sorts, and for a number of reasons I believe a movement in the right direction.

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After reading through g0ys.org and a few other sites, the only thing I find issue with is what appears to be a tendency to discredit stereotypical homosexuality.   It’s fine to celebrate traditional masculinity in its purest form, but I don’t think it’s necessary or productive to call some men sissies or other derogatory terms.  It’s not masculine or admirable to make fun of those who do not see things the same way some of the rest of us do.  Celebrate masculinity and male intimacy, but leave the unnecessary baggage behind.

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From the intro at g0ys.org

Most of the guys who stumble onto the g0ys (spelled w. a zer0) movement are looking for answers to some serious questions about themselves. Most are shocked when they learn that +60% of all guys have similar questions (the majority)! Most (but not all) of these guys have feelings for women, but also deal with internal issues arising from the fact that they also have affections for other guys, too! And, such guys don’t identify as “GAY” at all!

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Don’t identify with “GAY”? No! Guys like us actually find the imagery & stereotypes that are promoted from WITHIN the so-called “gay-male community” to be repugnant to our sensibilities of masculinity & respect. We know instinctively that loving other guys has nothing whatsoever to do with gender-bending, x-dressing or playing the female role! G0YS, -by our very nature reject anything to do with playing inside another person’s butt; -hence we find the entire notion of “anal-sex” to be dirty, degrading & damn-unmasculine. Feel familiar? Know what? G0YS are right!

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John Singer Sargent

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Everything John Singer Sargent painted was exquisite, whether it was his landscapes, his portraits, or his forays into impressionism.  His work on male nudes was rarely seen.  As an author of novels about male beauty, I believe his drawings and paintings of male nudes were emotional expressions of the same.  His subjects, though fit, are magnificent because they depict images of men not overly idealized.

John Singer Sargent (January 12, 1856 – April 14, 1925) was an American painter, and a leading portrait painter of his era.  During his career, he created roughly 900 oil paintings and more than 2,000 watercolors, as well as countless sketches and charcoal drawings. His oeuvre documents worldwide travel, from Venice to the Tyrol, Corfu, the Middle East, Montana, Maine, and Florida.

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A life-long bachelor, Sargent was extremely private regarding his personal life, although the painter Jacques-Émile Blanche, who was one of his early sitters, said after his death that Sargent’s sex life “was notorious in Paris, and in Venice, positively scandalous. He was a frenzied bugger.” The truth of this may never be established. Some scholars have suggested that Sargent was homosexual. He had personal associations with Prince Edmond de Polignac and Count Robert de Montesquiou.

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His male nudes reveal complex and well-considered artistic sensibilities about the male physique and male sensuality; this can be particularly observed in his portrait of Thomas E. McKeller, but also in Tommies Bathing, nude sketches for Hell and Judgement, and his portraits of young men, like Bartholomy Maganosco and Head of Olimpio Fusco. However, there were many friendships with women, as well, and a similar suppressed sensualism informs his female portrait and figure studies (notably Egyptian Girl, 1891). The likelihood of an affair with Louise Burkhardt, the model for Lady with the Rose, is accepted by Sargent scholars.

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Though his father was a patient teacher of basic subjects, young Sargent was a rambunctious child, more interested in outdoor activities than his studies. As his father wrote home, “He is quite a close observer of animated nature.” Contrary to his father, his mother was quite convinced that traveling around Europe, visiting museums and churches, would give young Sargent a satisfactory education. Several attempts to give him formal schooling failed, owning mostly to their itinerant life. She was a fine amateur artist and his father was a skilled medical illustrator. Early on, she gave him sketchbooks and encouraged drawing excursions. Young Sargent worked with care on his drawings, and he enthusiastically copied images from the Illustrated London News of ships and made detailed sketches of landscapes. FitzWilliam had hoped that his son’s interest in ships and the sea might lead him toward a naval career.

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Penis Size

Penis Size in Different Cultures

From Trojan Condoms

The very fact that so much effort has – and continues to be – devoted to measuring average penis size shows that it is a matter of great concern. Just as with other parts of the body, different men have different penis sizes. Unlike other parts of the body, however, this fact is deeply disturbing to most men. It really matters to them whether their penis is smaller than most or larger – and everyone wants to be at least average in size. The reason, of course, is that men define themselves in terms of their virility and power. The penis is a symbol of virility. In a wide variety of cultures across the world, penis size is perceived as an index of virility and power.

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Historically, the phallus was at the center of many ancient cultures. The ancient Greeks and Romans decorated their every day artifacts with pictures of penises. A famous Roman fresco in the Pompeii ruins shows a rich man using his enormous penis to counterbalance bags of money on a scale, and giant stone penises dating back to the 3rd century B.C. are scattered around the Temple of Dionysus on the Greek island of Delos. In fact, different types of phallic imagery can be found in the artistic traditions of most cultures, worldwide. The walls of Hindu temples in India are adorned with explicit erotic scenes where representations of the penis are prevalent, a study conducted on the cultural history of the penis in medieval Iceland* concluded that penis size defined men’s social status at the time, and soldiers of the Ottoman Empire supposedly publicly posted the measurements of their penises for their enemies to admire. The significance of the penis in all cultural traditions is undeniable. Everywhere, it was and still is the symbol of procreation (man’s creative power), fertility and love.

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The degree of preoccupation with penis size varies slightly from culture to culture – but it’s there in most cultures. The uninhibited expression of these concerns did not of course continue through the ages. Religion (especially the three monotheist religions, Judaism, Christianity and Islam) soon put a stop to that. Today, there are apparently two reasons why men care about penis size. One is the inherent competitiveness of men. A man actually feels superior to another man if he knows, or believes, his penis to be bigger. The more competitive a society is, the more men will be obsessed with this issue. The second reason is the belief that a penis’ size affects a man’s sexual performance and his attractiveness to women.

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While this seems to be true everywhere, it has recently attained much more significance in western cultures than elsewhere. Nowhere else is body image as important as it is today in the West. The media in the West plays an important role is promoting this concern, and men with big penises are depicted as being successful and happy, while smaller men are either pitiful or comic. The pornographic film industry is one case in point. Men in the West are apparently becoming as obsessed with penis size as are western women with issues such as weight. The difference is that they don’t admit it openly – out of embarrassment, and also for fear of discovering that they are smaller than average.

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Coming Out Later in Life

Coming out late in life complex but not unusual

From: www.cnn.com

By Elizabeth Landau

(CNN) — Howard Selekman knew he had been attracted to men since he was 8, but in his 20s he still planned to marry a woman and have children with her. When he brought his fiancee to see his psychiatrist, the young woman was optimistic, even though she knew Selekman was gay.

“My wife-to-be said, ‘I think love will overcome the obstacles,’ ” he said. “And I will never forget my psychiatrist saying, ‘No, it will not overcome all of the obstacles.’ ”

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The next 36 years would prove his psychiatrist right — Selekman never overcame his feelings that indicated he was gay. This year, at age 61, he finally divulged his sexual identity to his brothers, and “went public” through sharing his story on CNN’s iReport.

Marrying someone of the opposite sex, but coming out as gay or lesbian later in life is not uncommon, therapists say. A prominent example is actress Meredith Baxter, 62, who had been married to men three times but recently announced that she has been dating women for the past seven years. The thought of being gay “had never crossed my mind,” before seven years ago, she told People magazine earlier this month.

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Women, more often than men, report having these awakenings later in life, said Chris Kraft, clinical director at the Johns Hopkins Sexual Behaviors Consultation Unit. Males who decide to adopt a gay lifestyle late in adulthood generally have known about their orientation since their school years but do not want to risk telling others, he said.

It’s hard to say what it means to “not know” that you are gay until late in adulthood, said Gail Wyatt, sex therapist and professor at the University of California, Los Angeles. But she and Kraft both know of people who simply did not know how to interpret their feelings of attraction for many years.

Generally, sexual orientation becomes apparent to a person in adolescence, and to boys slightly earlier than girls, experts say. But sometimes the feelings of arousal and excitement that come from members of the same sex, even from casual sexual encounters, may feel more like “risk taking,” and don’t prompt a person to embrace a new sexual identity, Wyatt said.

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“They may have kids and families, a life that they would have to change, and many people don’t want to have to make that kind of change,” she said.

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CHALK ONE MORE UP FOR BODY ACCEPTANCE

Anyone for breast stroke? A writer loses her body hang-ups to compete in the naturist Olympics.

By Jessica Hatcher

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As I take my place on the starting block, a hush sweeps around the spectators at the side of the swimming pool. A race is about to begin.

The Union Jack is emblazoned on my swimming cap and to my left – poised and at the ready – are two lithe and toned Germans. I am competing for Great Britain at an international swimming competition and it should be a great honour.

But I can’t shake the feeling that there is something very, very wrong. For, apart from a silly stretchy hat, I am completely and utterly stark naked. And about to take part in the world’s largest nude swimming gala in front of hundreds of total strangers.

So how on earth have I ended up in such a predicament? Isn’t this the kind of situation that comes to people in their worst nightmares?

It all started innocently enough a few months ago, when I discovered the gala while browsing on the internet. In the name of journalistic research, I emailed the organisers to see if I could go along to witness it.

It sounded unique to say the least and fun at best, and they agreed. Then, a few weeks later, they called me back. Apparently there was a lack of competitors in my age group. Could I take part

I immediately got cold feet (and cold almost everything else). I am a competent swimmer, but I dislike competitive swimming almost as much as I do being naked in front of strangers (I’ve only ever stripped in public once – in a female communal shower after a yoga class – and it was fairly terrifying).

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Yet while the thought of parading my naked body in front of hundreds of people filled me with abject horror, I couldn’t help but feel intrigued. Was I just getting worked up over nothing?

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Now at an Amazon Link Near You

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Since I’ve been working on this collection, I’ve been asked a few questions.  Here’s a sampling:

You normally write novels; why short stories?

It mainly has to do with my interest in human diversity.  There are scenarios that make great novels.  Other situations people find themselves in can be told on fewer pages.  Born in the Wrong Body, for example, is a story about a woman born in a man’s body who goes through a series of sex reassignment procedures.  Having normal female desire, she falls in love with a man, who doesn’t know her history, before the final operation that will create a vagina from her penis.  Her heart beats just like everyone else’s, yet her circumstances are vastly different.  That’s what makes her story interesting, though the essence of her story can be told in a couple dozen pages.

Who are you writing these stories for?

When I first started publishing, it surprised me such a large percentage of my audience are women.  Why, I’m not sure.  They’re entitled to be as intrigued as men are in man to man relationships.  They get turned-on by reading about two men having sex just as men do with two women having sex.  I think they’ll be equally interested in this collection of tales, especially Two Husbands, a story about a straight wife married to a bisexual man, and the way she deals with the situation in the end.  This is the first time I’ve included women in the main relationship on a sexual basis.  Basically this book is for intelligent people with open minds who are fascinated by the diversity of human nature.

Which is your favorite story?

That’s tough to decide.  Writing them, I was totally into them all.  If I had to chose, it would be Charlene’s Daughter.  Not that I condone incest or sex with under-age girls, but I do understand human nature.  This story gets you in the gut.  Maybe because of the way it’s told.  Maybe because the characters are flawed but endearing.  Maybe because the story would make a good novel.  I am also fascinated by the concept in Two Husbands.

Are these stories erotica?

Although there are erotic scenes in this collection, I wouldn’t classify the stories as erotica.  Erotica is about and revolves around sex and sexual tension.  Short stories are snapshots of certain events or certain chapters in a person’s life; in this case, life changing chapters.  The stories in Erotic Tales for Enlightened Minds revolve around circumstances that lead to romantic self-discovery.

Why don’t you use traditional publishers?

I did, once, my first novel.  The first publisher that read it, bought it.  Thrilling as that was, it turned into the most dreadful experience I’ve had in my writing career, and put a very badly edited book on the market in my name.

What do you like best about writing?

Other than the creative process, I like most hearing from people who have read one or more of my novels.  I like reader input and opinions.  A writer learns from things like that.  I like hearing from people who have enjoyed the story and perhaps have identified with one of the characters.  By virtue of reading my novels, the reader knows me.  I hope the response will be as gratifying for Erotic Tales for Enlightened Minds.

Use the link below to order a copy in paperback.  Click here for the Kindle version.

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