Married & Bisexual-Finding a Solution

Of all the bisexual husbands out there, a few join forces with their wives to find the solution.  The following is from an online bi married male group.  It reflects an element I think is important if you’re looking to get the most from a third party relationship; the connection.  Not likely that it’s love, but it’s in that family of emotions.

Once the hard relationship crisis started to ease after my wife found a copy of something I had sent to an online contact, my wife’s bottom line issues turned out to be: a) she didn’t want to be abandoned and b) she wanted to be INcluded rather than EXcluded in my “whole” personality including the part that had been secretive and fearful. So, it appeared the ball was sorta back in MY court. I didn’t feel experienced in gay issues, but I had more contact and experience than SHE did so it felt to be my role to try to find ways to start bring my straight wife along. We tried to be open and creative…to find things to do that I might have done alone but now we would do them together. We both went to San Diego’s Pride activities, for example. We read a lot—on any related topic. We went to a bisexual support group here in San Diego. Another thing we did was do some online chatting with people together….men who represented they were married but had interests in men, bisexuals, etc.

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We got connected with a married guy who said he lived in PHX. He said he had experienced some bisexual activity before he was married while in college and was interested in trying to do it again. He would start a scenario and then send it to us to pick up where he left off, develop the story a bit further and then send it back to him. Not long into the connection he said his job was bringing him to our area to attend a convention, trade show, or seminar. Plans were made to meet. The night before he was to arrive we got an email saying that somehow his wife got access to the email stream that had passed between he and us. Furthermore, his email address suddenly had been deleted. We were upset—not so much that we weren’t going to get to meet him after all—but more from the standpoint that if what he said was true he and his wife would be in a mortal struggle as we had been not so long before. We found out later, though, that what he had described he’d done while in college was kind of “boiler plate” erotic fantasy—that the “bones” of the story he told was familiar. What was new wasn’t the story…but my wife and I! We also came into some fairly reliable knowledge later that supported he had pretty much “chickened out” of the idea of meeting us. Such is life on the ‘net! What we realized, though, was that in passing the fantasy story-line back and forth, and our email exchanges with him had served to “bring us along” in certain ways—ways that we kinda needed at that moment.

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Vintage Nude Photography

From the early days of ancient Rome and Greece, on through Michelangelo’s day, many of us have appreciated the human form.  Beginning in the late 19th century and on through the 20th, we we celebrated the human form with a camera. Today we call the earlier images vintage nude photography.

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FREE…Kindle Reader for Your PC

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Still waiting for the price of a Kindle to come down?  Just click on the picture and you can download the Kindle reader for free and read Kindle books right on your computer.

All five of my books are available on Kindle at the following links:

THE PARTISANS

FIVE MARRIED MEN

THE STRANGE HAUNTING OF JOHNNY FEELWATER

EROTIC TALES FOR ENLIGHTENED MINDS

A SONG IN THE PARK

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Ryan McGinley Photography

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An Artistic Master of Capturing the Freedom of Youthful Nudity

Born October 1977, Ryan McGinley lives in New York City. He began taking photographs in 1998. In 2003, at the age of 24, McGinley was the youngest artist to have a solo show at the Whitney Museum of American Art. He was also named Photographer of the Year in 2003 by American Photo Magazine.

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McGinley captures the spirit of youth and couples that with a rare and often vilified personal freedom of simply getting naked and enjoying ones body.  Young men and women, guys and girls not quite over the the age threshold that locks them in the real world, who not only know how to enjoy their youth, but their own skin.  McGinley takes the older admirers of his work back to their own youthful days and makes them dream about how much more carefree we all could have been had we not been relentlessly indoctrinated about how shameful the human body is.

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Body Flaws?

Personally, if I were with someone with a perfect flawless body, I would be a little uncomfortable.  Most of us have flaws, and often these flaws endear us to each other.  Though human perfection is interesting to look at, I find websites that feature endless images of flawless men or women become a little tiresome.  I think the answer lies with those who, despite their flaws, respect their body by watching their weight and perhaps stay in shape with a bit of physical exercise.  But then, all things considered, the human body is a miracle in any form.  The pictures I’ve added to this piece are of those who have learned how to enjoy their imperfect bodies.

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From The Australian

By Melinda Tankard Reist

SHOCK horror: nude supermodel has dimple on thigh. In a move labelled daring and revolutionary, this month’s edition of Marie Claire features nude photos of Australian model Jennifer Hawkins airbrush-free. The shoot reveals “brave” Jen with all her flaws.

And what exactly are these impediments? A tiny crease in Hawkins’s waist, a slightly dimpled thigh and “uneven skin tones”.

Quelle horreur. As if this isn’t enough, Hawkins notes an additional flaw: her hips. She has them. Miss Universe 2004 is really the Elephant Woman.

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According to Marie Claire editor Jackie Frank, the Hawkins images were inspired by a survey of 5500 readers that found only 12 per cent of women were happy with their bodies. That’s right, nude pics of a woman considered one of the world’s rarest beauties are supposed to cheer the rest of us up. The pictures will be auctioned this month, with proceeds going to eating disorders support group the Butterfly Foundation.

That Hawkins has been enlisted in the cause of girls who hate their bodies and are, in many ways, victims of the dominant ideal of female beauty kind of messes with my head. How can these pictures possibly help women feel good about themselves?

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Labelling hips, a little dimpling on the thigh, a small waist crease (which looks like what happens when any woman sits down) and supposedly uneven skin tone as flaws is already problematic. Who decided these were flaws and not part of being a woman? And if these are flaws, then how are other women supposed to feel feel?

And what about all the other flaws Hawkins, 26, will accrue if she has kids and when she ages?

The problem is the emphasis on physical attributes over any other qualities a woman might possess. And a freak-of-nature body that gets 24-hour-a-day attention and the best of care to earn its owner an income. Most women will never have a body like this.

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Why would an editor and an organization concerned about body image choose a Miss Universe title holder as the pin-up for the love-yourself-just-as-you-are campaign? The images attract comparisons and judgment, and provide more opportunity for objectification. They have already prompted a rash of emails from self-appointed male judges who said Hawkins was pear shaped, that her bum was unappealing, that her breasts were too small, that she should have kept her clothes on.

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9 Discoveries That Made [some of] Us Blush in 2009

From Science News . . .

This year was full of scientific findings about us, with a host of discoveries that helped explain how our brains and bodies work. Among the more interesting were these nine, which focused on some of the things that are on our minds the most and which might leave some folks red in the face.

There’s nothing like the sight of a statue of a naked lady to turn many of us into giggling teenagers. One statue discovered this year takes the cake for its blush-factor: The tiny figure, which dates back some 35,000 years, was that of a woman with “large, projecting , a greatly enlarged and explicit vulva, and bloated belly and thighs,” University of Cambridge anthropologist Paul Mellars wrote in a commentary essay on the discovery in the journal Nature. The archaeologists say the nude art, found in Germany, suggests people were obsessed with sex and nakedness long ago. Early carvings of phalluses appeared in Europe at about the same time.

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Guys certainly have willpower. Turns out, in general they are good at staving off an erection when watching . That’s according to a study out this year that found guys who can regulate other emotions, such as holding in a laugh when listening to a comedian, are even better at controlling their mental and physical arousal.

Sex is supposed to be fun, right? Not for the 15 percent or so of women who experience dyspareunia, or recurrent genital pain during sex. Researchers found this year such women have more easily triggered pain networks compared with other women. Rather than a sex dysfunction, dyspareunia should be classified as a pain disorder, they say, and as such treatment should include cognitive behavioral and sex therapies.

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Masturbation might not be a dinner-table topic, but new research out in 2009 suggests the mostly solo act is serious business. The study found that men who masturbated frequently in their 20s were more likely than men who didn’t to get prostate cancer later in life. The link could be a hormonal one, rather than strict cause-and-effect, since hormones have been linked with prostate cancer as well as sex drive. But further study is needed, as other research has shown different results.

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