Note from Martin: I personally believe this movement is a positive thing for men, though certain elements cannot be condoned, such as criticism for the gay community and condemnation of anal sex. To condemn other people’s perspectives is to essentially condemn your own.
G0Ys, (spelled with a zero)
Masculine, basically straight, perhaps married, g0ys are coming into their own. They are men who recognize the emotional and physical beauty of other men. Their relationships with other men are solid and mutually agreeable, sometimes intimate, sometimes sexually active … as in hugging, kissing, showering, and even mutual masturbation, which may include oral. They in no way fit the commonly perceived gay stereotype and shun activities that include drag, promiscuous sex, effeminate men and anal sex. Quite simply, they are men that appreciate the male form, male bonding and masculine activities.
Considering the broad spectrum of male sex, it’s a rather narrow self-definition of male intimacy, not that these men are concerned about labels. They know who they are and they are genuinely grateful to have their perceptions. I am personally delighted to see the movement expand. Anything that breaks the barriers to a man’s natural desire for a close personal relationship with other men, or another man, is a step in the right direction.
Depending on a wife’s position, there is no reason married men can’t be gOys. Perhaps a few extra moments in the shower after a workout or a round of golf. Perhaps a little skinny dipping in a secluded river, or a thoughtful touch on the arm, or sitting around the campfire naked, maybe a kiss, or an exchanged caress. It’s a way to enjoy being a man, of identifying with other men, of brotherhood and trust, of being close, of knowing a magical kind of body chemistry and exploring the mysteries of the male form. To the majority, perhaps, such activities practiced by a married man might be labeled infidelity or homosexuality, though it has nothing to do with anything other than mutual male attraction and responding to male genes. There is no reason a man can’t be a devoted, loving husband, while at the same time enjoying some level of intimacy with a trusted male friend.
From G0Ys R Us (A forum for G0ys)
G0ys R Us is an initiative to support the g0y movement. Without you, we would not exist!!!
You may be here because you feel completely alone in your situation. After all, you’re basically a regular guy who behaves like any other regular guy. You may even date women or be married.
But, deep inside, you deal with strong feelings of real warmth + genuine affection for other guys too. You’ve seen the media’s take on the “gay” community; & not only do you N0T relate to that image, but you find many of the practices repulsive to your basic value system. The truth is, you’re a guy who really loves masculinity & appreciates those traits in other men, while simultaneously finding actions that effeminize masculine men to be grossly distasteful .
You probably look forward to holidays with your buds — especially those times when you can horse around, wrestle & even be a little tender — like when you’ve had a few beers (or maybe just got done pinning the guy down wrestling) & you find your arm around him, resting a hand on his upper or lower back in a casual, reaffirming hug. You’re the definition of “respectful”, but you want to be closer, too.
G0Ys as defined by the Urban Dictionary
G0YS (Spelled with a ZER0) are guys who find men physically & emotionally attractive, but (for whatever reason) are offended with the stigmas that currently define the ‘gay community’ in the public psyche. G0YS recognize that the “gay-male” community tends to embrace every gender-bending act, fetish & affectation; –And include those things in the general specter of the image that “gay” projects publicly. The easiest to observe example is the commonly used acronym “GLIT” (sometimes “GLIB”) meaning Gay, Lesbian, Intersexed, Transgendered (or BiSexual). The fact that “GAY” is grouped with “Intersexed & Transgendered” is evidence to our primary point showing what the term “GAY” has morphed into. G0YS reject those associations completely & consider it a form of prejudice against men who love men. Behaviorally: Anal-sex is innately shunned by g0ys – as it represents the ultimate form of sexual disrespect whether male/male or male/female. Other distasteful stereotypes include (but are not limited to): Effeminate behavior, extreme passivity (like cowardice) & drag. G0YS don’t call other men “girl”, “bitch”, “queen”, etc. You probably get the idea. G0YS also reject (due to well developed theology), the lax & lazy prejudices that have arisen in conservative fundamentalist circles against all same-gender sexuality.
Connect with other gOys on Facebook
Not gay, but gOy. (GoY, as defined by the founder) Someone who is g0y finds the gAy community “encloses too large a group & the diverse associated stereotypes.” Rather the g0y community is more narrowly defined. G0YS embrace masculinity and friendships at “the top of their proverbial “list”.” If friendships deepen to become “intimate & personal”, sexuality for g0ys is seen as “strong, invisible cords of love, respect & extreme-discretion cover what is an intensely personal thing.” G0Ys will express themselves sexually due to personal preference, “with some exceptions – no anal, no fetishes, no degrading, dangerous or disrespectful acts.” G0Ys are made up of guys who range on the Kinsey Scale from 1 to 6.
Did the G0Y movement really start in ancient Greece?
Fact is, for many of us, there is an inherent predisposition for those of our own sex, covering ground from a simple desire for a close friendship, to a strong desire for physical intimacy with a trusted companion. There are many men who enjoy being with other men, who like looking at them, getting naked with them (whether it’s in the gym showers or a secluded swimming hole), even touching them and being intimate in myriad ways. I hope the G0Y movement continues to grow and helps to enlighten the general brotherhood of man.
For more information see g0ys.org
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I realise this post is quite old now, but this is the first time I have come across the term “g0y”, and I thought I’d comment on it.
Personally, I think the whole concept sounds very healthy, and it’s great that men should be seeking to liberate their sexuality in a world that places stringent restrictions on all kinds of sexual behaviour.
Having said that, however, it strikes me that there is an unfortunate undercurrent in all this which stinks of repressed bisexuality and general homophobia. It’s one thing to identify as largely heterosexual with an interest in the male form, but it is, I think, cowardly and despicable to support it with hatred and prejudice such as this: “[many g0ys] find many of the practices [of the gay community] repulsive to [their] basic value system. The truth is, you’re a guy who really loves masculinity & appreciates those traits in other men, while simultaneously finding actions that effeminize masculine men to be grossly distasteful.”
I realise that those words were from a website – not yours – that no longer exists, but it’s evidence nonetheless that such backwards thinking in the g0y community exists. By all means, liberate your sexuality in all kinds of ways, but don’t further the stigmatisation of ‘traditional’ gay men and homosexual sex in the process. It’s cruel, unnecessary, and hints at you having some problem with your own sexual identity.
Callum, thanks for your insight and thoughtful perspective. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I think the “gOy” concept is a positive thing for men that like to identify as straight. I would hope the demeaning attitude toward the gay community, and for men that enjoy the full spectrum of male intimacy,isn’t a common trait among these guys.
I tend to identify with the g0ys trend because I just like the idea of masturbating with another man. I have tried anal and oral several times, so it’s not like I am in denial or scared to do it. The thing is, men are very attractive to me, but I seem to only like the idea of watching solo masturbation or doing mutual masturbation with them.
I find labels restricting especially if it limits natural preferences. Why do we have to place limitations and restrictions on what men are, want to be or experience sexually with other men? Aren’t we all just really looking for the truth about ourselves and confirmation that it is OK to talk about and act on it?
I am a man. I sometimes have sex with other men and I fantasize from time to time about close buddies of mine. I don’t know how they feel because I live in an environment where its not acceptable to talk or offer physical closeness to male friends/ buddies- sex is not an option, though I absolutely believe that they have similar feelings.
I enjoy this website, because it gives me and guys in a similar situation the opportunity to express our true feelings, awarenesses, etc with others. I don’t feel gay, rather bi, though even bi feels like a silly label. I do believe most men feel attracted to other men and would prefer physical contact with other men. I am from South Africa and black men are seen regularly walking together holding hands. It is not seen as typical male behaviour between white men.
My plea is for liberation from labels, restrictions based on preconceived ideas from people who think they walk the moral high ground of society and need to hide behind rules and masks to hide their own insecurities.
I don’t like the term g0ys, because it is another label. It frees men from certain limitations which I think is good, but it tries to be prescriptive in other ways. If your arse is not on offer, it’s OK. Someone else’s is, why limit him? I also think the term g0y is a reaction on gay and as such it just stands for being a reaction with new condition and rules. Get rid of the rules and tags, please!
If you need a tag try something that stands for men that are liberated, leaders because we acknowledge only truth and don’t fear what we find there, courage to be the first to walk this path, unafraid, because we left all our insecurities and self-doubt behind. Be a man, and I will respect you, love you and be your friend, admire you from a distance or kiss you when I am overwhelmed with emotion, passion or yearning. I will respond like a man in all honesty and be proud.
Yet again, beautifully penned Ralph. Beautiful. Thank you.
Ralph, you are a man after my own heart.
This evening, on television male dancers in fleeting images so graceful, a brief promotion for a new ballet, I know who you are, this delightful joy arising in me. I am mesmerized, for their beauty, and for how I see them, this immersion so sweet.
To write of it, to acknowledge with such intensity, is this not what we each seek, this affair of the male heart and soul. Beauty upon beauty.
Appearing in front of me, feelings in such subtle waves, more than appreciation, so clear in those aspects of the man I welcome, fleeting like flowers in spring, beyond longing, male union that knows who I am.
So deep since the days of boyhood, this whole life at my core, is this who you are too, for me there is no doubt.
Oh gentle lover of sweet men.
I stop momentarily, at first a glance, then longer, choosing to hold my gaze, to look and study their deep embrace, their bodies and my own responses so vivid and clear.
His hand gentle with fingers intent seeking out below his partners breast, his other holding him close resting with invited attention upon his soft lower neck, time stands still, their breath shared, naked touch so willing. Their lips join in dance, eyes closed deep in their intimacy.
I look at the hair on his chest, caressing the manly shape of his torso, how beautiful, his hand rests in front of him, I wonder how his male prowess might stand, above genitals carried at restful expectation, their movement so rhythmic.
These sweet feelings repeated again and again with couples embrace in the images that follow.
With each new moment I am caste away to that place of ecstasy, I know this is me, his warmth full length against mine, thoughts give over to surrender. I am where I want to be, where I have always yearned so naturally, there is no return this garden so true it is me.
Of myriad things I enjoy and things I adore.
There are autumn leaves and winding paths, fine fabrics and hidden boutiques, second hand treasures and items oriental, sandalwood fans of romance and dance, of Hepburn and Valentino and burlesque reviews, of Priscilla and Monroe, of stilettos and shop windows, of men and women with pure silk scarves, of still life models, fine lace and haute couture, tailored suits and good leather shoes, galleries, art deco and dedicated athletes, secret pools and sunset swims, perfume counters and flowers in bloom.
Of who I am these fifty years plus.
She is so beautiful, and all the pretty things she wears, while he is my beau he so captures my stare.
Who am I, just a guy.
So precious, so rare.
Hi there. I’m a 42 year old man from Australia. All my life I have identified myself as “gay”, as I love men and the male body. I am lucky to have a male partner of 12 years who is my best friend and whom I love beyond words. I artistically appreciate the female form but have only been sexually attracted to 3 women. I chose not to pursue those impulses as I knew that sex would only have complicated great friendships.
However, I have never been particularly interested in the whole gay “arse fucking” thing. I HAVE fucked and been fucked, and to be honest I have had the longest and most mind blowing orgasms with my partner when he is inside me. But 99% of the time I find it difficult to relax, I feel awkward and the whole “cleaning” ritual is time consuming and a mood killer for me. I would much rather simply be naked and trusting and sharing with a guy or guys. Frottage, mutual masturbation and exhibitionism turns me on more than words can say! That sense of shared male brotherhood is an aphrodisiac beyond measure. My partner and I refer to each other as brothers. I am intoxicated and deliciously overwhelmed by MALENESS.
I don’t like the tendency of g0ys to denigrate gays as presented by the media. Everyone of any sex or persuasion should be free to pursue their own sexual path with tolerance and acceptance with mutually agreeable partners.
This having been said, if I’d grown up in a more enlightened and communicative world I would probably have identified myself as “g0y”. I love penises and male bodies and male sensitivity and respect.
Love thy brother as thyself,
Brad
I guess this “movement” was started by a log cabin republican
Not surprised about this being a log cabin republican movement. Last I looked at their site, there was a smattering of anti Obama and teabaggerish pages on there. Something that would typically be off topic. What a turnoff.
I’m g0y and I love Obama. The Republicans are interested to continue to associate homosexuality with anal sex. They know that this association promotes hatred towards homosexuals.
I agree with Martin “I do, however, suspect a good number of men who identify as gOys, lost in the throes of passion,will eventually be given over to abandon and will want to feel his boyfriend inside.”
I identify as ME (that’s the easiest way for me to say this, labeling is not for me). My sexuality is as fluid and sensual as the next person. The g0y concept sounds good – it’s not your typical gay movement where promiscuity is rife, but I find their parameters are a bit rigid. That being said, maybe it’s easier for guys in general to explain their attraction to the male form in a way that is easiest for them to accept and live with.
If you share a commitment with someone, you’re going to want to be share intimacy and be sexually intimate. It’s all about learning and exploring… Loving. Sharing. Trusting. Committing.
I find the use of the term g0y to be too preachy and critical of others. You can be attracted to men in a masculine way without being critical of others.
When someone asks “Who am I?”, or “Where do I fit in?”, I think labels are okay as long as a person uses them to define himself. If the person is comfortable within the parameters of the label it’s a good thing. It’s when others label someone problems can occur. G0ys broaden and enhance the overall brotherhood of man. I do, however, suspect a good number of men who identify as gOys, lost in the throes of passion,will eventually be given over to abandon and will want to feel his boyfriend inside.
My question is, what poor soul can look at the last picture in this article and see something wrong with it?
Now, I am all for defining your own sexual identity, but this just strikes me as another label for people, particularly homophobic men, to latch on to. It is easy to put a safer label on yourself (“g0ys”) than to admit that the labels are flawed altogether. This is a step in the right direction (further away from the binary of gay and straight) but it’s still got the problem that all socially-constructed categories have: it’s constricting and inflexible. What happens when a g0y finds himself wanting anal sex? What happens when his male companion wants it, but he doesn’t? And then there’s still the problem that his male companion might still consider things like mutual masturbation, kissing and even hugging as “gay.”
I myself am not perfect, and I tend to socially identify as gay because it’s easy. But I realize at a certain level that my sexuality is unique and fluid. No one fits perfectly into these categories… not in every situation with any person.