EARLIER THIS WEEK (In July 2010) CNN EXPLORED A PROVOCATIVE TOPIC IN AN ARTICLE ENTITLED, “The last person out of the closet? The bisexual male.”
While straight people are considered “normal,” homosexuals are increasingly accepted, and bi women are tolerated with a sparkly wink, bisexual men continue to be viewed suspiciously.
Bisexuals of both genders often face the stereotypes that they are promiscuous, unable to commit, of wanting to “have our cake and eat it too.” Bisexuals certainly want to indulge in the best of both worlds (and why not you’re so inclined?), but I also know that I am more than willing and perfectly able to commit to the right person, should the question of monogamy ever come up.
Many of us are also told that we are going through a phase, and that this too, young grasshopper, shall pass. My thoughts? If you enjoy fucking a member of your gender now, you’re probably going to enjoy it later, too.
But bisexual men have more to deal with and are constantly battling the perception that they’re really are gay but don’t want to admit to it. And how sad is that! Can you imagine finally mustering the courage to “come out” as a bisexual, only to have someone tell you that you are, azza matter’a fact, just gay?
CNN featured couple Robert and Christine Winn – who have been married almost 18 years. The funk factor? Robert is openly bisexual and his wife accepts his orientation and supports him fully.
“It’s just a part of him like any other husband who loses their socks on the floor or doesn’t take the trash out,” Christine said.
Another interviewee, 22-year-old Ben Pierce, likens bisexuality today to being biracial in the 1960s. He spoke about the difficulty in finding a sense of belonging with either camp — gay or straight. For Pierce, and the rest of us who feel that sexual and romantic attraction is “fluid,” there is no black or white. It’s all shades of gray, baby.
People like to compartmentalize. They can’t deal with the gray. But somehow it’s easier to accept “gray” if there are two pairs of tits involved.
Female bisexuality is “tolerated because sometimes men see it as entertaining and exciting for them,” said Denise Penn, director of the American Institute of Bisexuality.
As a feminist, this is one area where I can fully admit that men have it worse off.
Surprisingly, bisexuality still needs qualification for many skeptics.
In the 1920s, Freud theorized that bisexuality was an innate trait found in humans. Later, Kinsey created the six-point scale for classifying sexual orientation. More recently, sociologist Eric Anderson’s studies of college students in the US and England has found that 90 percent of them believe in the validity of bisexuality. “Animals don’t do sexual identity,” says Anderson of the University of Bath in England. “They just do sex.”
Anderson contends that among humans, “the categories of gay and straight are socially constructed.”
n a 2005 study, the CDC reported about 1.8 percent of Americans ages 15-44 identify as bisexual, a number which is so low, I’m sure, because some folks weren’t willing to be forthcoming.
Bisexuality still carries great stigma particularly for men. When I slept with a bisexual man when I was 18, my usually very forward-thinking mother cautioned me. “Be really careful,” she warned. “There’s a good chance he has a disease.”
Ironically, the case of Chlamydia I landed a year later was not from the bi-guy; it was from my seemingly straight-laced Republican boyfriend of the time. (The moral of that story: you can never be too careful!)
Being openly bisexual is not easy. I admit that — in a group — I rarely denote my orientation, especially in the company of any staunchly-gay or staunchy-straight people. Pressure from both camps to conform to their own logo can be exhausting.
Until people are comfortable enough with the notion that each of us lands quietly on the scale between gay and straight, I will recline with a knowing smirk, confident in my belief that we are all just a little bit bisexual.
(Pictures added by Enlightened Male 2000)
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