Should you be concerned?

Many of us hold secrets about our bodies that we’re reluctant to share with anyone, yet they haunt us everyday, especially when we look at ourselves in the mirror.  Many men think their penis is too small, or curves too much,  or  has an undesirable shape.  For a woman, concerning her most private parts, it’s the size, shape and color of her labia.

And since this site is about body acceptance, the subject is clearly on-topic.  My first post on the subject generated lots of interest, so I thought I’d revisit the subject, this time from a different slant.

Fact is, labia are like snowflakes … every one is different.  As a girl goes through puberty, her genes deliver Mother Nature’s artistic creativity to various parts of her body: the curve of her hips, her breast size and shape, patterns of hair, the design and size of her labia.  She has preconceived notions of what her body should look like, and she compares her body to other girls, all too often believing she comes up short.  A little surfing on the Internet and the silent suffering often worsens.  All those beautiful, perfect girls!  Why does my labia stick out?

She wants to look like the other girls, and if she’s old enough to be sexually active, she worries about what her boyfriend thinks, or will think if she allows him to turn the light on.

Typical self-analysis:

“I think my vagina lips are not normal. My inner lips are way way bigger then my outer ones! It wasn’t like that when I was little! It really bugs me. I won’t even let my boyfriend touch me there, cause I’m afraid he will think I’m not normal or something. My boyfriend has asked me if I wanted to have sex but I turned him down because of this. Is my vagina normal?”

“My inner vaginal “lips” stick out, is this normal? I’m insecure about it, and embarrassed to let my boyfriend see.”

“I’ve read a lot of your articles on labia but I still can’t seem to get the thought of my own out of my head. Mine are big and noticeable which I know are normal but still bother me. I think it looks gross in certain underwear and I am very insecure about it. At times I even try to tuck them in so you can see them. I am 16 and started noticing this about a year or so ago. I am not sure if I was always like this or not. I’ve been with this guy for about 8 months and hes been down there with his hands and what not but I am a virgin and I was very skeptical about even letting him preform oral sex on me because of the reaction that he might have thinking it’s disgusting. About a week ago at his house things started to get serious but kept my hands covering my vagina because I was nervous. He was confused at why I would do that and told me he really want to give me oral sex and I really wanted to. I eventually let him and he did not say one thing bout my larger labia. I was very surprised and pleased but couldn’t shake the idea of what he really thought. I still consider surgery when I turn 18 for myself. I just cannot get the thought that I look gross out of my mind. I really need help on what I should do.”

“Being sexually active, I have become more conscious about my vagina. I am very concerned about the physical appearance of my vagina. It’s really embarrassing. There’s extra skin on the left side of my vagina that hangs down, it’s kind of wrinkly, and it’s stretchy. It did not appear out of nowhere, I’ve had it for a long time. Is it normal? or is something bad that I should have removed? Please help me. I’m very confused and embarrassed.”

“Is it normal to have long inner vagina lips? Do guys like longer inner lips? Mine are about half an inch longer than the outer ones. All the vaginas I’ve seen, the inner lips are hidden by the outer ones, and mine aren’t..I’m really embarrassed.”

“I am not really sure if my personal area is right. Is your inner labia supposed to hang past your outer labia?”

Fact is, all of the above pictures are normal labia.  The average labia are 3/4s of an inch long to over two inches long at the longest point. The color and texture of inner labia  are as varied as the size and shape, from very dark, including black inner linings or edges, to a variety of pinks, reds and browns.

What a man really thinks:

Let me be perfectly frank on offering a man’s point-of-view.  First of all, especially if he’s fretting over his penis size or shape, he won’t notice anything out of the ordinary.  One, he’s thinking more about how your vagina feels as opposed to how it looks.  Two, he’s wanting to get to the part where he feels it inside you.  Three, if he’s looking at your vagina, he’s marveling at the femaleness of it, your personal design, and most likely thinking he’s the luckiest guy alive right now.  Four, if he’s looking at it, he’s visually stimulated and very likely wanting to engage in oral sex.  And no, the taste does not offend him.  You smell like a woman there and this is what he is expecting.  It fact, the taste and smell, laden with pheromones, will push him much closer to the edge.

He’ll lick you there.  Your labia give him something to suck, something to toy with with his tongue and fingers, something to pull and play with, which will heighten your sensations and stimulate both of you, not to mention the added sensations you both get when it clings to his penis as it slides in and out.  All of these things are in his subconscious mind, while consciously he’s thinking about how glad he is to have you.

He sees you as a whole package, which includes both your personality and physical characteristics.  The labia will be a tiny fraction of how he sees the entire package.  If he’s the right guy for you to be sharing your body with, and your labia happens to be larger than average, it will serve only to endear him more, just one more thing that makes you special.

He sees you as normal … and you are if your labia resembles any of these:

Somewhat larger than Average:

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Some are even more pronounced:

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From a man’s perspective it’s very difficult to imagine why anyone would find the women pictured here unattractive.  Call it the labia’s personality, the physical characteristics that provide a woman’s visual sex appeal, a special personal design that you put into some fortunate man’s possession and one that he’ll cherish and feel is his.  By way of its unique design, the labia increases a woman’s intrigue, makes her look sexually mature, and provides visual stimulation.  Beyond keeping bacteria out of the vulva, it’s a sensitive part of the body that adds to the sensations of sex for both the man and woman.

So, I hope you feel more encouraged.  I hope you look forward to delighting your boyfriend or prospective husband with your natural gifts.  I hope, if feel something is wrong with you or you’re considering labiaplasty, you’ll give it some more thought.

There are a variety of reasons we are so preoccupied by the physical qualities of our bodies: ad campaigns that emphasize perfection, the friend whose body seems to be perfect–you’ve heard all the reasons.  As for myself, I confess, it’s the size of my penis.  Like so many men, I wish it was bigger.  But I’m fortunate though.  I was lucky enough (or smart enough) to fall in love with and marry a woman that not only accepts my sexuality and is one of the biggest fans of my novels, she sincerely makes me believe I’m the most virile, best hung stud in the neighborhood, not that she can say something like that with any credible evidence.

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