Labiaplasty (What do “normal” labia look like?

Should you be concerned?

Many of us hold secrets about our bodies that we’re reluctant to share with anyone, yet they haunt us everyday, especially when we look at ourselves in the mirror.  Many men think their penis is too small, or curves too much,  or  has an undesirable shape.  For a woman, concerning her most private parts, it’s the size, shape and color of her labia.

And since this site is about body acceptance, the subject is clearly on-topic.  My first post on the subject generated lots of interest, so I thought I’d revisit the subject, this time from a different slant.

Fact is, labia are like snowflakes … every one is different.  As a girl goes through puberty, her genes deliver Mother Nature’s artistic creativity to various parts of her body: the curve of her hips, her breast size and shape, patterns of hair, the design and size of her labia.  She has preconceived notions of what her body should look like, and she compares her body to other girls, all too often believing she comes up short.  A little surfing on the Internet and the silent suffering often worsens.  All those beautiful, perfect girls!  Why does my labia stick out?

She wants to look like the other girls, and if she’s old enough to be sexually active, she worries about what her boyfriend thinks, or will think if she allows him to turn the light on.

Typical self-analysis:

“I think my vagina lips are not normal. My inner lips are way way bigger then my outer ones! It wasn’t like that when I was little! It really bugs me. I won’t even let my boyfriend touch me there, cause I’m afraid he will think I’m not normal or something. My boyfriend has asked me if I wanted to have sex but I turned him down because of this. Is my vagina normal?”

“My inner vaginal “lips” stick out, is this normal? I’m insecure about it, and embarrassed to let my boyfriend see.”

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“I’ve read a lot of your articles on labia but I still can’t seem to get the thought of my own out of my head. Mine are big and noticeable which I know are normal but still bother me. I think it looks gross in certain underwear and I am very insecure about it. At times I even try to tuck them in so you can see them. I am 16 and started noticing this about a year or so ago. I am not sure if I was always like this or not. I’ve been with this guy for about 8 months and hes been down there with his hands and what not but I am a virgin and I was very skeptical about even letting him preform oral sex on me because of the reaction that he might have thinking it’s disgusting. About a week ago at his house things started to get serious but kept my hands covering my vagina because I was nervous. He was confused at why I would do that and told me he really want to give me oral sex and I really wanted to. I eventually let him and he did not say one thing bout my larger labia. I was very surprised and pleased but couldn’t shake the idea of what he really thought. I still consider surgery when I turn 18 for myself. I just cannot get the thought that I look gross out of my mind. I really need help on what I should do.”

“Being sexually active, I have become more conscious about my vagina. I am very concerned about the physical appearance of my vagina. It’s really embarrassing. There’s extra skin on the left side of my vagina that hangs down, it’s kind of wrinkly, and it’s stretchy. It did not appear out of nowhere, I’ve had it for a long time. Is it normal? or is something bad that I should have removed? Please help me. I’m very confused and embarrassed.”

This pol will give you an idea what men think of your body and sexuality.

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“Is it normal to have long inner vagina lips? Do guys like longer inner lips? Mine are about half an inch longer than the outer ones. All the vaginas I’ve seen, the inner lips are hidden by the outer ones, and mine aren’t..I’m really embarrassed.”

“I am not really sure if my personal area is right. Is your inner labia supposed to hang past your outer labia?”

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Fact is, all of the above pictures are normal labia.  The average labia are 3/4s of an inch long to over two inches long at the longest point. The color and texture of inner labia  are as varied as the size and shape, from very dark, including black inner linings or edges, to a variety of pinks, reds and browns.

What a man really thinks:

Let me be perfectly frank on offering a man’s point-of-view.  First of all, especially if he’s fretting over his penis size or shape, he won’t notice anything out of the ordinary.  One, he’s thinking more about how your vagina feels as opposed to how it looks.  Two, he’s wanting to get to the part where he feels it inside you.  Three, if he’s looking at your vagina, he’s marveling at the femaleness of it, your personal design, and most likely thinking he’s the luckiest guy alive right now.  Four, if he’s looking at it, he’s visually stimulated and very likely wanting to engage in oral sex.  And no, the taste does not offend him.  You smell like a woman there and this is what he is expecting.  It fact, the taste and smell, laden with pheromones, will push him much closer to the edge.

He’ll lick you there.  Your labia give him something to suck, something to toy with with his tongue and fingers, something to pull and play with, which will heighten your sensations and stimulate both of you, not to mention the added sensations you both get when it clings to his penis as it slides in and out.  All of these things are in his subconscious mind, while consciously he’s thinking about how glad he is to have you.

He sees you as a whole package, which includes both your personality and physical characteristics.  The labia will be a tiny fraction of how he sees the entire package.  If he’s the right guy for you to be sharing your body with, and your labia happens to be larger than average, it will serve only to endear him more, just one more thing that makes you special.

He sees you as normal … and you are if your labia resembles any of these:

Somewhat larger than Average:

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Some are even more pronounced:

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From a man’s perspective it’s very difficult to imagine why anyone would find the women pictured here unattractive.  Call it the labia’s personality, the physical characteristics that provide a woman’s visual sex appeal, a special personal design that you put into some fortunate man’s possession and one that he’ll cherish and feel is his.  By way of its unique design, the labia increases a woman’s intrigue, makes her look sexually mature, and provides visual stimulation.  Beyond keeping bacteria out of the vulva, it’s a sensitive part of the body that adds to the sensations of sex for both the man and woman.

So, I hope you feel more encouraged.  I hope you look forward to delighting your boyfriend or prospective husband with your natural gifts.  I hope, if feel something is wrong with you or you’re considering labiaplasty, you’ll give it some more thought.

There are a variety of reasons we are so preoccupied by the physical qualities of our bodies: ad campaigns that emphasize perfection, the friend whose body seems to be perfect–you’ve heard all the reasons.  As for myself, I confess, it’s the size of my penis.  Like so many men, I wish it was bigger.  But I’m fortunate though.  I was lucky enough (or smart enough) to fall in love with and marry a woman that not only accepts my sexuality and is one of the biggest fans of my novels, she sincerely makes me believe I’m the most virile, best hung stud in the neighborhood, not that she can say something like that with any credible evidence.

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45 thoughts on “Labiaplasty (What do “normal” labia look like?

  1. This is not intended to be insulting and hurtful, however the article is contradictory. It states that he’s thinking about your “femaleness”. I don’t see anything female about labia that are as long as a soft penis. The design of the female body is intended to be internal, the male external. Female parts that significantly project outward would be just as unappealing as a male with genitals that are not protruding (imagine a guy with genitals similar to the clitoris). Each gender has an ideal image. The people who write these articles are the same that tell you people come in all shapes and sizes, even people that are 500 lbs. Why do you think there are no obese models?

    Having said all of that, there is some variety in nature however that variety remains within the confines of beauty to the opposite sex. The fact that a woman would love a man with nearly no penis or a man would love a woman with severe protruding genitals is not the issue. Love for the person is based upon individuality and the personality and emotions attached to a person. This means that most people overlook flaws in their mate, such as being flat chested or a man having small genitals. It doesn’t mean that every person who dates magically happens to love exactly how that individual looks physically. The only reason this comes into play is because humans tend to get used to things after a while and always wanting to enjoy what we have we tell ourselves to love those things about our mate.

    So what we are looking at here is that while love can make a person appreciate the other including everything on them, it doesn’t that same person wouldn’t prefer the 500 lb. person to lose weight or the guy with a small penis to at least have normal size, or the same with female genitals hanging out.

    The fact that people fall in love and accept things like this makes others believe that humans have no preference in beauty. Yet, we know this is not the case because society uses the “ideal” image in advertisements for a reason. The only complication is because of genetics. There are people with mushrooms growing out of their skin or born conjoined etc…does this mean this is the new “normal”?

    Genetics play a huge part in all of this and the real issue is humans have a hard time accepting that they are born “flawed” and would prefer to hear someone telling them what sounds good and telling them not to change. People appeal to this by writing these types of articles and the situation continues propagating itself.

    In summary, I wouldn’t generally allow the way a person looks to affect whether I love them or not. If they have hanging labia, its not going to affect functionality or enjoyment of intercourse, however that doesn’t mean we don’t have a preference
    for aesthetical appearances. Having said that, fortunately most men are so hard up that they will let this go to gain intimacy and they will just be happy they have anything close to a female. Also, more good news is that some men have fetishes for obese women and hanging labia so there will always be someone out there who doesn’t care or even enjoys this aspect. But again the point is that it is impossible to define what is “normal” without a valid reference point and just because much of humanity has a variety of genetical issues doesn’t mean that we can say everyone is normal.

  2. Hi! I’m six days out of total reconstructive surgery for pelvic organ prolapse (which developed after I had my first VERY large baby almost 14 years ago). My labia were always large but one hung down so much that it chafes with jogging, biking, and such. My sweet husband has always said he loves me just the way I am but also supported my decision to have a labiaplasty and vaginaplasty (after tearing so badly with my first delivery I became very loose and he was often “falling out” during sex). After seeing the above pictures and comments I have two wishes: that no woman (or girl) will be ashamed of the wonderful diversity of her genetia, AND that no woman will regret a labiaplasty if done for practical reasons, as mine was. Please pray for me (or keep your fingers crossed) that I have done the right thing!

    • Thanks Gilly, and godspeed. The tragedy that I associate with labiaplasty is when the procedure is done for purely aesthetic reasons by women that have been lead to believe what a “perfect” vulva is supposed to look like. To believe this is just one one example of the many reasons our society is misguided. So many believe the human body is shameful. Many men believe their penis is too small. People think children will be traumatized for life if they see a naked body. In your case, just like men that have to be circumcised for practical reasons, you faced a medical necessity to have labiaplasty. Everyone that reads your comment is hoping things have turned out well for you and your husband.

      • I agree with the part about there being no “perfect” vulva, as well as societal views on nudity which society proves itself foolish on, however there are always margins. For instance, there is no “perfect” height and all sizes can be considered variety but in the case of a dwarf/midget there is a genetical component at play (even science confirms this). So the same would be true for aesthetics. There is certainly a wide margin on normality but where does one draw the line? 7 inches of labia? The point is that there is a specific margin and anything outside of that margin while not forcing the individual to change, doesnt mean that they should still be defined as “normal” when they are beyond that scope.

  3. Bizarre looking at these photos and realising that perhaps I’m not so bad after all. However, that will never undo the hurt from past boyfriends comments and this April I am booked in to have labiaplasty and will report back to you, because whilst I am pleased that this site is praising the larger female genetalia, many men also have the ‘ideal’ female form in their minds and make jokes about burger curtains, mud flaps etc and that can be mentally scaring. I’m not promoting surgery here, but I do have a choice and I have chosen to opt for something that may bring me a little more happiness and a little less worry and embarrassment.

    • Elsie, I support your decision as it seems that you have thought it through, and that this will hopefully truly allow you to move past a nagging and perhaps crippling insecurity in some ways. I do want to say though that if you had past boyfriends that were saying cruel things like that, they were sick assholes that didn’t deserve to be with you (or anyone). I have large labia, and my previous boyfriends have genuinely loved them and found them beautiful and a huge turn on. There are many men out there that don’t have a socially/media constructed view of beauty/

    • try being an uncircumsized male in the US. I know how it feels to be different. I will not change my body to fit the “mold” of current society. I like my body.

  4. Learning and thinking about the concern some women have for the size of their labia (or breasts or nipples, etc…, has caused me to stop worrying about the my small penis for the fist time in my life! I feel like a light bulb has just been turned on.

    I am 48, was married for 10 years and a have been a bachelor for a total of 20 years. I have always been in very good shape, and have always been told I have well above average looks. I have dated more than my share of women.

    I could go on for 20 pages sharing with you all of the less than pleasant comments women have made to my face about my 4.5 inch penis. All the things I have been told I would have to be willing to do in bed to compensate for it, and all the things that have been requested of me. Many have made faces, and a few women became clearly upset when they saw my size, two even accusing me of deceiving them by not telling them sooner. Penis size is VERY important to at least 3/4 of all the women I have ever met, dozens over my life have admitted it. They are simply too ashamed of being thought of as that shallow in front of their friends or even on blogs.

    Now for the good news: I just realized I was missing the whole point! It all about the were and the why! I love large labia. I love large breasts and nipples. I love a full ass. My last GF had none of these! And I still think, and told her many times, that she is the most beautiful and desirable woman I have ever met. Until I read this article, which caused me to see things from the other side, I didn’t realize that the problem for both men and women is that the penis (or labia) is being shown too soon. I truly loved my now x-GF, so she could have had nothing that i would normally find appealing attached someone I didn’t know. Whatever she had was perfect because it was attached to her.

    Worlds best body and breasts and puss? They belong to the girl I love. Its no contest.

  5. My boyfriend pointed it out to me. I was so humiliated I almost cried. I don’t know what to do. Seeing these comments helped me but I still can’t get over what he said to me. I feel messed up.

    • This is something many of us hate to hear. How did your boyfriend point it out? If he said anything at all, it should have been to let you know how beautiful he thinks you are. Perhaps a negative sounding comment about your labia reflects his basic insensitivity, which is something for you to consider. There are a lot of guys that would appreciate you the way you are. It’s possible you would be better off with one of them.

      • I told him how he made me feel and he told me he loves me the way I am and that he is sorry. I hope that he really believes that.

  6. I have been struggling over this for years, I thought I was abnormal and ugly down there, after looking at this pictures and reading what man really think I feel better in my own skin, we don’t go around looking at other women vaginas so therefore we don’t know what it should look like, but we do see some porn stars and theirs look completely different and that’s what we thought we should look like! my husband has never thought I needed any surgery unless it would benefit my emotional being, he has always said its beautiful and he likes it, but I thought he would say it out of love< thank you so much for sharing these pictures and comments!

  7. l have been reading the comments and reviewing this site now for a couple or weeks. Wow…….I always thought that it was men that had the most problem with how their penis looks. Too short, not enough girth, bent, small head, etc., on and on. Never knew that women thought about their lips the way they do. My take is that there hasn’t been a woman that hasn’t looked absolutely beautiful to me no matter what their bodies looked like. It’s sad to me that the female self-esteem quotent is as low as it is. I directly contribute that to their past relationship with their fathers. Real dads impart self-esteem to their daughters and not in a sexual way either. Loving dads allow their daughters to be validated as a woman and to feel good about her body and her person. I read these post and have such a sad feeling in knowing that that woman would not have those feelings about her body if she had been fortunate enough to have an understanding and loving daddy to grow up with. So girls listen up………..I feel that there are many more men out there that would love to make passionate love to you no matter what you look like down there. All the photos that you have sent in look so beautiful and so delicious too.

  8. My bf and me were sexting (we’ve had sex but always in the dark or I make him put a blanket over us) anyways he asked for a picture of my parts I couldn’t bring myself to send him a pic of anything other than my breasts Because I really don’t like the way I look down there. This site helped me buh I still don’t think I will ever be comfortable with it

  9. so what about a woman’s labia after children and the labia is big and does her vagina feel large to a guy? can he really feel the difference? and does he prefer women who have not had children because it feels different?

  10. I was a little uncertain or insecure about my labia after I realized how different it was than some women on the internet that have virtually nonexistant labia, but now I think I have the most beautiful vulva ever! X) .. I’ve even had multiple men remark on “how beautiful it is”. Please ladies that are insecure about theirs, you will never be truly happy until you love what you have. Surgery won’t solve anything.*Any* good man is going to love it, I promise you that and know from experience.

  11. I’ve had 3 sexual partners and they have never complained about my inner labia, but i have always felt abnormal because they didn’t look like the perfect vaginas on the internet. Its always on my mind what guys think when they go down on me and i felt insecure for so long, i even considered surgery. Thank you for addressing this because it boosted my confidence level so much. Now i feel normal! YAY!

  12. Hi I would just like too say im 15 and ive wanted labiaplasty since I was 11, I always thought i was abnormal because of my large labia untill recently, ive been in a relationship for a year and since ive known since I met him this is the person im supposed to be with for the rest of my life.. I told him about 3 months into the relationship that I wanted labiaplasty and he told me that he loves me and he would never leave me over something like that…about 8 months later after not ever bringing it up with him I began to get very extremely mad at myself for being this way I brought it up while in tears too him because he was watching a movie with naked women in it and I got so mad at myself because I know ill never be like them “how I think I should be” when I told him and showed him what I meant and how I feel he is COMPLETELY against me EVER getting a labiaplasty.. He just wont let me and I dont want him to ever see my vagina because I hate it so much I WANT TO CUT IT OFF MYSELF, but in my mind I know that its not worth ever losing him over, and that sharing how much I love him and him loving me is something my labia cannot hold back…. I cant count how many nights ive cryed myself too sleep or how many times ive woken up and felt like I was worthless and spent hours trying to go back too sleep I dont know if Im ever going to get a labiaplasty but I know that IT IS NORMAL and that its something I need too learn too accept. I hope too one day accept myself the way he does. Best of luck too all out there who think that they are not normal, someday we’ll get through it.

    • what isn’t normal is you thinking to cut your lavia. you have to love your genitalia the way it is. I Love Large Lavia, because I really enjoy giving oral sex and think it’s sexy. you have a lucky BF.

  13. I’m 12 years old and about a few months ago, i found out how to masturbate. When i would see my vagina i would feel ashamed because i thought i looked ‘used up’ or something because of how my labia sticks out. I saw pictures of women with PERFECT vaginas online, and this made me super selfcouncious. After seeing this, this made me feel thirty times better. Thank you so much.

  14. Thank you for acknowledging this issue. There are so many girls out there secretly feeling so much shame and unable to begin healthy sexual relationships because of it. I used to be one of them. I am sincerely grateful for you and everyone spreading labia love!

  15. Thanks guys for this because i thought that am abnormal even i was dreadful of involving myself in any kind of relationship because i thought that someone would get amazed with the way i grew

  16. From the frightening age of 13, when I first became sexually active, both my step mother and 17yr old lover told me that my larger labia were abnormal. Since then I have tried wrapping rubber bands around them tightly to cut off circulation in hopes the excess skin would rot off. Thankfully the pain was too much to bear and I was forced to remove them after only two days.
    My more recent lover has found my fuller lips completely normal, though I still try to hide them. This article has given me confidence to perhaps allow my lover to see the prize he has been trying to win.. Thank you, this helps.

  17. I have never thought about women being self conscious about this. I want them to know men do not care. We love you and your bodies. Stop worrying and enjoy what nature gave you. We like you just fine especially if you are naked!

  18. Well, I wanted to give a sincere thank you for posting this. It actually brought tears to my eyes because it’s a topic I’ve been so self conscious of, along with years of anorexia and bulimia to top it all off. I’m at a point where I’ve grown to be more accepting of my body than ever before, yet it’s still something I fight every day. This post made the fight a little less strenuous for me.

  19. “Pay attention to your mind. Get down under the countless negative layers imposed on you from the day you were born,” It took me years t o get over what was taught to me as being bad so I could realy explore my own feelings and decide where I fit in personally, sexually, and emotionally and what was right for me or wrong for me. Thanks for being there for every one.

  20. women should not be self conscience about their labia. in my opinion the bigger the better. i love to suck on them and marvel over them. a woman with no labia or very small labia is very unattractive. having large inner labia is a gift girls please reconsider before having surgery. love what god intended you to have they are there for a reason and thats to please men.

  21. I always thought i was out of the ordinary, but now i feel normal. I dont have anything to worrie about. I was so scared that i was the only one that was like this! thank you guys so much. Im glad theres people out there that actually take time to explain this stuff :) thanks <3

  22. i want to thankyou so much you have no idea. im only 14 and i have developed so fast you have no idea, i have cup d’s and everything. its so hard to accept my body if you know what i mean, i have a long labia and i went to the doctor to ask if i was normal!! this really helped me. my boyfriend wants to get sexual with me, (yeah dont give me the crap that im to young) and i always never let him go down their on me, but now im excited hehe. THANKYOU so much <3 <3 xx

  23. It is a bit unusual but everyone is different and you shouldn’t worry becaues it isn’t bad at all. It looks adorable and it looks like it would feel adorable and as you get older you’ll start to notice that guys LOVE it.

  24. I wanted to thank you for writing this…I have been toying with the idea of labiaplasty for a while now because I am so self conscious about the size of my labia. This article has made me feel a bit better about myself. It means a lot.

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