From an article on kh-newstoday.blogspot
Yes: it really is different for bisexuals.
This is one of the findings from last week’s interim release of results from the Workplace Survey – possibly the largest of its kind – designed to investigate the work experiences of those who identify as bisexual, pansexual, many-gender-loving or fluid desire.
That is: it is not just that bisexuality is a genuine, distinct sexual orientation – as opposed to a phase that individuals pass through – but being bisexual leads individuals to face a number of challenges and pressures that are very different from those experienced by those who identify as lesbian, gay or even straight.
To begin with, the survey revealed that bisexuality is much more broadly defined than non-bi people know or understand, with almost one in five who identify as gay or straight also indicating clear bisexual behaviour or feelings. Some 53 per cent of those surveyed identified as female, 35 per cent as male and ten per cent as queer.
Most bisexuals come out to themselves between the ages of seven and 19, which according to the authors is similar to the age at which most of those who identify as lesbian or gay come out.
Two out of five bisexuals consider themselves to be polyamorous, which creates additional pressure. This is defined as having or wanting numerous intimate relationships with the consent of those involved.
Individuals were more likely to be out as bisexual where a company’s non-discrimination policy included both sexual orientation and gender identity and expression: in companies where there the non-discrimination policy covered just sexual orientation, respondents were no more likely to be out than if it was not in the policy.Pin It
There is no way to more intimately express feelings between a man and woman than to have his penis inside her, whether it’s in her vagina or her anus. The same can be said for like-minded men, though his only option is his anus, referred to by some men as the male pussy. Part of what defines the male characters and their emotions in my novels are the intimate moments between them, which occasionally includes anal sex. For them, nothing is more personal, more sensual or more gratifying than to share this part of their body and feel the penis inside.
Some Statistics: (more common than you might think)
* Kinsey data collected between 1938-1963 found that 9 percent of non-married males and 28 percent of non-married females had engaged in anal sex at least once. Among married subjects, the numbers were much lower–around 11 percent for both men and women.
* In 1974, Playboy magazine published a huge survey of over 2000 people. Depending on the age of the respondent, between 14 and 25 percent of people said they had tried anal sex at least once.
* A more recent study, conducted in 1990 at the Kinsey Institute, found that 27 percent of male and 24 percent of female college students had anal sex at least once.
* One researcher, who surveyed one group of people in the 1970s then another in the late 1980s, offers a good point of comparison. In the first survey, 25 percent of women had anal sex and 8 percent reported engaging in it regularly. In the second, 72 percent had anal sex, and 23 percent reported engaging in it regularly.
* A 1991 survey of 3200 men (in a nationally representative sample) found that 20 percent of men age 20 to 39 had engaged in anal sex at least once. Fifty percent of the men who had tried it had only tried it once. Interestingly, in this more contemporary study, more older men reported having had anal sex than younger men (27 percent of men age 35 to 39 versus 13 percent of men age 20 to 24).
* The most recent U.S. data from a national representative sample comes from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG), which was conducted on over 12,000 men and women aged 15 to 44. Results show that 34 percent of men and 30 percent of women reported engaging in anal sex at least once.
* In a 1996 survey of Swedish women aged 18 to 74, about 20 percent of women overall reported having engaged in anal sex–specifically, 28 percent of 25 to 34 year-olds and 2 percent of 66 to 74 year-olds.
From those who have had anal sex:
Male/Female: A boyfriend in college introduced me to anal sex. Until that time I had only had oral and vaginal sex. He was good sized, but after plenty of foreplay and lube I found that it felt amazing – just very “full”. Now that I’m married I so have anal sex with my husband and I’m able to achieve an amazing orgasm if I stimulate my clitoris while having anal sex.
Male/Female: My current boyfriend turned me on to anal sex. I don’t think he realized what a maniac he was creating when he convinced me to try it. All I can say is: WOW!!!!!!! He was slow and gentle and well lubed up. He is quite big and he made sure to take his time. Once he was in “to the hilt” so to speak I had a very pleasant and “full” sensation in my lower belly. After a bit of time he was, well let’s just say he was very vigorous! I had an orgasm so intense I never imagine it could feel so good. Then feeling him come inside me…felt like a living creature was released in my lower tummy!
Male/Male: While I’ve had oral contact with guys since I was 12, it wasn’t until my mid 40′s that I experienced anal sex. It seems strange to me now, but I guess I never really thought about it, even though I’d seen it in porn. At any rate, my first experience was with a guy I’d just met. We were having a good time with oral and lots of body contact. Before I had time to even think about it, things progressed from him just lying on my back kissing my neck to him entering me. In spite of no preparation or lube, it was OK. He wasn’t very large and once I got used to him inside me, I enjoyed it. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised by what happened since when I went back and read his profile, one of his quotes was something like “relax, in a few minutes you’ll think it was your idea.” Interestingly enough, he and I are still friends ten years later and see each other a couple times a year (we live in different cities)
Since that first experience, I’ve continued to enjoy anal sex. I’m primarily a top, except for continuing to bottom for this first guy (a total top though he enjoys being rimmed). I do bottom occasionally with other guys although none has been as good as this first guy. He’s just the right size and continually changes position which keeps things comfortable and interesting. I absolutely LOVE rimming a nice ass, though being rimmed doesn’t really do much for me. For the past couple years I’ve basically just had one partner (except for the rare occasions when I see this first guy). My current partner is primarily a bottom which is good, since he’s VERY well endowed and it’s not always real comfortable for me to bottom for him unless he takes his time.
On that note, I find bottoming is much more enjoyable if your partner takes time to prepare you – rimming, fingering, lots of lube, slow entry. If that’s done, it’s pretty much always enjoyable, regardless of the guy’s size.
Male/Female: I am one of those women who prefer anal sex. It turns me on like no other form of sex. My current boyfriend is very well endowed and I love the way he feels in me more than my average sized boyfriends. He hits spots I never knew existed!
Male/Female/Strap-on: While my wife and I both enjoy anal sex where I penetrate her, the best sex happens when she penetrates me. It took me years to get up the nerve to ask her to do me, but now we do it more often than any other sex act — her strap-on dildo is always erect, unlike my penis. I think a lot of guys who are penetrating their women are fantasizing about switching roles.
Male/Female: My current boyfriend turned me on to anal sex. I don’t tbhink he realized what a maniac he was creating when he convinced me to try it. All I can say is: WOW!!!!!!! He was slow and gentle and well lubed up. He is quite big and he made sure to take his time. Once he was in “to the hilt” so to speak I had a very pleasant and “full” sensation in my lower belly. After a bit of time he was, well let’s just say he was very vigorous! I had an orgasm so intense I never imagine it could feel so good. Then feeling him come inside me…felt like a living creature was released in my lower tummy!
Male/Male: Although it’s been quite a few years since I’ve had the pleasure of a penis in me, I fondly remember the experience. I was most fortunate in that I met a man who was quite gentle and caring. That’s the most important aspect of anal intercourse. If your man is rough and insensitive to your feelings, I suspect you’re in for a bad time.
My first experience was actually not very thrilling. I met a guy who wanted me to mount him. We tried, but it just didn’t seem to be working out too well – I guess I didn’t have the real desire. So we switched places, and he fucked me. Although I enjoyed the experience – it was pleasurable – I didn’t have any feelings for the man at all and, in fact, he was a bit rude. When I met my next anal partner, A___ however; that was a treat. We spent a while getting to know each other, sitting and chatting, enjoying each other’s company (mind you this was definitely a hookup). We kissed, groped each other a bit and thought it right to head into the bedroom. There, he suggested anal intercourse, and I was a willing participant.
Truly, A___ cared about making love to me. He was as gentle and sweet as could be, and he made the experience so very pleasant and comfortable for me. Absolutely, he used a condom, and he lubed me up beforehand, beginning with digital stimulation. Over the time we knew each other, I guess I got laid 4 or 5 times, and I loved it. If I could find a man who would want to enter me now, I’d seriously enjoy it again. The guy I’m seeing regularly now is a bottom, however, and we’ve actually never discussed anal sex with each other.
As for the specifics of the action…yes, cleanliness is paramount. Though I’ve never douched or had an enema beforehand, I have made it a point to be as clean as possible “down there” – even if I wasn’t going to be penetrated, I’d want to be clean. I think that’s a necessity no matter what. After all, who wants to put a dirty, smelly penis in his mouth? And if you’re engaged in oral sex, you’ll be pretty close to your partner’s ass anyway, so it’s an imperative.
Before I ever actually opened myself to anal penetration, I experimented on myself a number of times. Having a dildo is a definite plus, as you can approximate the length and girth of a real penis, and you’ve got the ability to try it rough or try it easy. Then you’d get a feel for how you’ll end up liking it. A good way to begin the investigation is with your own fingers. You’ll be pleasantly surprised to recognize that you can put at least 4 fingers in reasonably deeply, and the sensation is otherworldly.
If you’re considering bottoming for someone, play with yourself first so you can loosen up the muscles and get an idea of what it’s like to have something entering you. And, of course, with any anal intercourse, the use of a condom is an absolute. I wouldn’t ever want someone’s semen to enter me in that fashion (orally is another case altogether)Pin It