I don’t title this piece lightly.If you Google transsexual or transgender about all you get is escort services and porn, which is fine if that’s what you’re looking for. I’m more interested in the woman, the girl that wants a boyfriend and an everyday life. There is a good size community of these girls, some pre-op and others who have gone through sexual reassignment surgery. The girl I find intriguing is the one who has decided to keep her penis, though everything else about her is female. My question is: Is she the girl you would like to be in a serious relationship with?
Not all girls are born female. There is a special class of woman out there, with a different set of attributes than the “genetic girl,” or GG. It’s the transsexual woman, or “TS.” A woman who used to be a male. “Pre-Op” refers to the fact that she has not had sexual reassignment surgery (SRS), the sex-change surgery.
Definitions: A “pre-op transsexual” is a woman in the wrong body, one who has breasts (through taking female hormones and/or breast implants), and a cock. A TS is almost always living full time as a woman. A “non-op transsexual” means that the TS will not have SRS. Usually that is also the case with a pre-op TS.
A lot of guys who show interest in TS’s are, in fact, bisexual. Others are bi-curious. Still others are looking for cheap thrills. Some men find TS’s to be more feminine than GG’s. And then, of course, there are guys who seem to just plain connect better with a pre-op transsexual than a GG.
For the guys just seeking a sexual experience, there are plenty of shemale escorts available who will happily provide an exciting experience for a fee, without any danger of commitment. Don’t know any escorts? Use a search engine, search under keywords “shemale escorts (enter name of your city or state)” — odds are you will find what you need.
TS’s tell me that most of the guys who contact them are, in fact, bisexual or bi-curious. They say these men are often looking for a same-sex experience but packaged in such a way that they have deniability. They seek to deny (to themselves, probably) that sex with a person who has both tits and a dick is homosexual in nature, when the guy is sucking that dick or getting fucked by it.
Some men find today’s so-called independent woman to be not very feminine at all, overly assertive, argumentative, prone to characterizing a simple male advance as “harassment,” and a general pain in the ass to be around. One guy told me dating a so-called independent woman “is like dating your brother.” Who among the women of today delight in being extremely (and classically) feminine? The TS’s.
Others find solace with a pre-op transsexual because she used to be a male and has a far better understanding of what it means to be male than most GG’s ever will. Any guy who is chronically misunderstood by GG’s will be able to appreciate the viewpoint of the TS.
Guys ask me for advice. “I met this transsexual woman at a club and I am really attracted to her but I am concerned that it means I am gay or something. Am I?”
Some careful dialogue with the guy usually uncovers the fact that he was very attracted to the TS’s femininity. Her look, her voice, her movement, her laugh, her smile, her scent, and all those other feminine cues that trigger interest and a masculine response from a guy. Gay guys are not attracted to those attributes.
Therefore, if a straight man finds himself interested in a pre-op transsexual and is experiencing some confusion as a result, then he needs to consider exactly what it is about her that is attracting him. If it’s her femininity, then he’s not responding like a gay man would, and thus shouldn’t worry about whether he’s “turning gay.” If the guy can accept that he is attracted to a somewhat different kind of woman and still wants to pursue it, take it just one step at a time.
Take her out to dinner or a movie. Talk to her about whatever, listen to her words. Look into her eyes. Can he get lost in her eyes, as he can with a GG? Can he relax around her and just enjoy being with her, as if she were a GG? If so, take one more step. Hold hands, kiss her good-night. In other words, treat her like he would any GG date, at a pace that he can handle, given his concerns. Easy!
What does any woman look for in a guy? A straight man, a guy who loves and appreciates women.
This quote came to me this evening as I was writing this article. A pretty TS said she wants “a man with class, respect, morals, intelligence, humor and loyalty.” She is having great difficulty finding a man like that.
Why? Because most guys, she said, “are the same, they are just bi-curious or want their fantasy to come true.” That is why god made “escorts.”
What a pre-op transsexual woman wants in a guy is what most any woman wants in a guy. Surprise, surprise! If a guy wants to develop a relationship with a TS (think this through carefully)…how should he approach her?
A TS who hangs out online gets a million instant messages and emails about sexual encounters. A TS who has the genuine sensibilities of the female will not respond to sexual adventure proposals any better than most GG’s will.
A male-to-female transsexual is generally defined as a woman in a man’s body. The key thing to bear in mind here is: WOMAN in a man’s body. If a guy wants to get past her suspicions about the nature of his interest in her, don’t offer her a dick. Offer her flowers and a dinner date. He needs to express his interest the same way he would with any GG.
What genetic females will appreciate, so will the TS. Don’t treat her like a freak. Chances are excellent she will resent being treated as a curiosity. She has endured a lot of pain and derision over gender issues, and has spent a lot of money trying to correct a mistake by nature. Be understanding and appreciative of her ordeal. Be a gentleman. Get past the plumbing issues and think in terms of her femininity. It’s not that hard to do and she will greatly appreciate it.
Reading the articles at this website will satisfy your curiosity about what a TS is, what she needs and how she thinks. Therefore, a man doesn’t need to bring up TS issues on the first date. Instead, he should focus on her, her life and her interests. He shouldn’t treat her any differently than he would any other woman. She craves to be treated like any other woman, but she fully expects her date to ask inappropriate sex- and TS-related questions, because it happens all the time. Surprise and delight her! Don’t even bring the subject up. Let her be the one to bring it up, if she wants. Doing things this way will likely make a very big impression. And that could put the guy miles ahead of everyone else vying for her attention.
Odds are, she’s taking female hormones. That often results in feminine mood swings. Expect that. The pre-op TS may still have a dick, but psychologically she’s a girl.
She responds as a woman, therefore she regards herself as a woman. But being female for her is likely a whole lot more difficult than it is for the GG. Why? Imagine how men she meets react when she tells them she is a TS who hasn’t had the sex change. Usually the guy immediately loses interest. He might even react with disgust. Or worse. This will impact on her sense of self-worth and esteem.
The pre-op TS will often adopt an image that is clearly, unmistakably feminine as she seeks to define herself as a woman. Probably she will not care to dress in a way that could be construed as masculine. A male appearance is in her past. The TS wants to immerse herself into something warmly and clearly feminine, which accounts for the clearly feminine clothing and heels. The TS is unlikely to identify with female Marines, Abrams tank drivers and fighter jet pilots.
Who is attracted to her? Mostly bi guys and thrill seekers. Finding a man who will accept her as a woman with a dick is very difficult indeed. But the man who can appreciate her femaleness, accept and love her is in for a huge benefit. He will be on the receiving end of a whole lot of attention, affection, and desire to please. His girl will probably go all out to look very desirable. She will wear very feminine clothing and shoes. She will work hard to perfect her makeup. After all, she loves being a girl. And she (finally) has a man who appreciates her. She is very unlikely to take him for granted. Interestingly enough, this approach to pleasing a man and adopting a feminine appearance is rather sadly lacking today among genetic women.
When my girlfriend and I go off to the movies or a restaurant, she is almost always the only female in the place in a blouse and skirt, or a dress — and both the men and women notice her. You can see the envy in the men’s eyes. They want their women to dress in a more feminine manner too, and it isn’t happening for them. The TS’s often have a better understanding of what men want, a better grip on how to be female.
For those men who find themselves attracted to a pre-op TS but wary of the prospect of sex, here’s a solution. Assuming that guy has read the earlier remarks in Section 2, then the solution is to think of having sex with a TS as just a plumbing issue. Forget about her penis. The guy has a girlfriend with a simple plumbing issue. There’s no pussy, so get over it. What are the options? I’m sure any guy thinking of sex with a pre-op transsexual woman has quickly inventoried all the places he can stick his cock.
A TS on hormones may not have a functional penis. And a TS with the sensibilities of a genetic woman is very unlikely to want to fuck a guy in the ass or stuff it down his throat anyway, so a straight guy need not be concerned about it.
Time for the orifice inventory. Will a TS want to suck cock? Get fucked in the ass? It’s very likely she will. Can she cum? Many do cum from anal sex. TS’s on hormones tend to cum repeatedly, much as GG’s can, but without the usual male-type ejaculation.
What is the essence of femininity? Females are nurturers and pleasers by nature. They are warm, loving beings who love to please. Sex tends to be tied up with romantic love. Women love to be “taken” by a masculine man, since it is the act of erotic surrender that centers them, that makes them feel like “a real woman.” Therefore, hardly any TS with the sensibilities of a woman will be looking to “top” a guy or will be looking for a guy who wants to suck her dick.
Foreplay? Remember, treat her like a woman. She is going to respond the same way.
Now ask yourself one question before you date a pre-op transsexual: Can you handle it if your girlfriend has a bigger penis than yours?
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A testimonial about what it’s like to be a transsexual.
Transsexual people have to deal with many different things when they transition. Every aspect of your life is affected when you transition from one gender to another. Just living as a Transsexual in society is hard enough today with all the prejudice and ignorance that exists, but there are many other obstacles to overcome as well. The most important is no doubt keeping your job. I have known many people who lost their jobs when they announced to their employers that they planned to transition. Even if you are lucky enough to keep your job when you transition there are still many negative aspects that you have to deal with. The most difficult thing you have to deal with when you transition is dealing with all of the people in your life.
When a person fully transitions, every single person in their life is affected by it. Knowing that your transition will affect every single person in your life, and that you will most likely lose many friends and family members along the way, only makes it all the more difficult for the person transitioning. Add to that the possibility of losing your job, everything you own, your retirement, knowing that so much ignorance and prejudice exists towards Transgender people and it makes the thought of transitioning absolutely terrifying. It takes a huge amount of courage to overcome all of that fear — but in the end you simply have no choice. You reach the point where your “bell goes off” and you either transition or you die. You reach the point in your life where you realize that you have to live your life and if you can’t do that you would rather be dead. You transition knowing full well that most of the people in your life will never be able to understand why you had to transition and also that many of them – including family members – may never accept you.
When I knew I had to fully transition in early 2009, I fully expected to lose almost everything I had — after all, I had witnessed this happen many times to many other people when they transitioned. I thought for sure that I would lose my job and that would in turn lead to the loss of my house, possibly my car and most other possessions. I also fully expected to lose most of the people in my life, including most friends and even family members.
When I transitioned I was very lucky. I was one of the very few who transition who was able to keep her job. I also kept most of my friends. I was positive that I would lose my parents but they kept me in their lives and did not turn their backs on me. My sister has known about me since approximately 1993 so I did not expect to lose her. I was also single and had no children, so I didn’t have to go through the loss of my family like I have witnessed so many of my friends go through. Compared to most people who transition, I was very lucky indeed.
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