Category Archives: Discussion

Topics of interest to comment on.

Concerned About Your Labia?

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I can understand why some women have negative feelings about their labia. Men are the same way about their penises … too small, curved too much, too hairy … so we’re all pretty much in the same boat. None of us are perfect, and most of us perceive our “flaws” with exaggerated emotions. But labia, like penises, are like snowflakes … no two are the same. In fact they are part of our physical personalities that make the human race interesting. Therefore, in this post you will see a variety of labia, all of which are normal, all of which would thrill nearly any man or any female lover.

We’re all self-conscious about our bodies to begin with: too short or tall, fat or thin, our complexions are too light or dark or have imperfections, our butts are too flat or too broad … the worries are endless. But the labia are a special part of a special part, a part that women want to share with someone special. So they, like men and their penises, use the Internet and certain magazines to establish what is apparently an ideal look for their genitals. No wonder so many plastic surgeons drive a Mercedes Benz, especially those that do labiaplasty, a procedure, if purely for cosmetic reasons, I hope to discourage you from.

Here are a few of the concerns women have about their labia:

Me and my boyfriend are thinking about having sex for the first time, I have never let him see my labia before because I am worried what he might think. They are very large and are dark brown in colour, is this normal? Is this even attractive?

After finding out my b/f uses porn to help him along when I’m not around, I decided to keyword “large labia” on the Internet to see if what he’s looking at looks like me. …Apart from them being teens, which I’m not, I’m 27, all of the girls had small ‘perfect’ looking labia, again, which I don’t have.  I already felt self conscious about my labia, both minora and majora are large and hang quite low, they’re pretty symmetrical but there is a lot of them to say the least. I found a website showing all sorts of labia sizes, even larger ones similar to mine.. whilst I think they’re beautiful I still find mine pretty ugly. Added to that I never know what to do with the hair down there, leave it long to hide the big lips, or have it short, neat and tidy but have my horrible lips hanging for all to see. I don’t know. Its odd that I can view other large labia as attractive, some of them even turned me on if I’m honest, but I still think mine are ugly.

I think my vagina lips are not normal. My inner lips are way way bigger then my outer ones! It wasn’t like that when I was little! It really bugs me. I won’t even let my boyfriend touch me there, cause I’m afraid he will think I’m not normal or something. My boyfriend has asked me if I wanted to have sex but I turned him down because of this. Is my vagina normal?

My inner vaginal “lips” stick out, is this normal? I’m insecure about it, and embarrassed to let my boyfriend see.

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I’ve read a lot of articles on labia but I still can’t seem to get the thought of my own out of my head. Mine are big and noticeable which I know are normal but still bother me. I think it looks gross in certain underwear and I am very insecure about it. At times I even try to tuck them in so you can see them. I am 16 and started noticing this about a year or so ago. I am not sure if I was always like this or not. I’ve been with this guy for about 8 months and hes been down there with his hands and what not but I am a virgin and I was very skeptical about even letting him preform oral sex on me because of the reaction that he might have thinking it’s disgusting. About a week ago at his house things started to get serious but kept my hands covering my vagina because I was nervous. He was confused at why I would do that and told me he really want to give me oral sex and I really wanted to. I eventually let him and he did not say one thing bout my larger labia. I was very surprised and pleased but couldn’t shake the idea of what he really thought. I still consider surgery when I turn 18 for myself. I just cannot get the thought that I look gross out of my mind. I really need help on what I should do.

Being sexually active, I have become more conscious about my vagina. I am very Continue reading →

Accommodating Women

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I don’t title this piece lightly.If you Google transsexual or transgender about all you get is escort services and porn, which is fine if that’s what you’re looking for. I’m more interested in the woman, the girl that wants a boyfriend and an everyday life. There is a good size community of these girls, some pre-op and others who have gone through sexual reassignment surgery. The girl I find intriguing is the one who has decided to keep her penis, though everything else about her is female. My question is: Is she the girl you would like to be in a serious relationship with?

The following questions and answers are from Michael at TS Girlfriend

Not all girls are born female. There is a special class of woman out there, with a different set of attributes than the “genetic girl,” or GG. It’s the transsexual woman, or “TS.” A woman who used to be a male. “Pre-Op” refers to the fact that she has not had sexual reassignment surgery (SRS), the sex-change surgery.

Definitions: A “pre-op transsexual” is a woman in the wrong body, one who has breasts (through taking female hormones and/or breast implants), and a cock. A TS is almost always living full time as a woman. A “non-op transsexual” means that the TS will not have SRS. Usually that is also the case with a pre-op TS.

1. Why would a guy want to date a pre-op transsexual?

A lot of guys who show interest in TS’s are, in fact, bisexual. Others are bi-curious. Still others are looking for cheap thrills. Some men find TS’s to be more feminine than GG’s. And then, of course, there are guys who seem to just plain connect better with a pre-op transsexual than a GG.

For the guys just seeking a sexual experience, there are plenty of shemale escorts available who will happily provide an exciting experience for a fee, without any danger of commitment. Don’t know any escorts? Use a search engine, search under keywords “shemale escorts (enter name of your city or state)” — odds are you will find what you need.

TS’s tell me that most of the guys who contact them are, in fact, bisexual or bi-curious. They say these men are often looking for a same-sex experience but packaged in such a way that they have deniability. They seek to deny (to themselves, probably) that sex with a person who has both tits and a dick is homosexual in nature, when the guy is sucking that dick or getting fucked by it.

Some men find today’s so-called independent woman to be not very feminine at all, overly assertive, argumentative, prone to characterizing a simple male advance as “harassment,” and a general pain in the ass to be around. One guy told me dating a so-called independent woman “is like dating your brother.” Who among the women of today delight in being extremely (and classically) feminine? The TS’s.

Others find solace with a pre-op transsexual because she used to be a male and has a far better understanding of what it means to be male than most GG’s ever will. Any guy who is chronically misunderstood by GG’s will be able to appreciate the viewpoint of the TS.

2. Sexual confusion and disorientation.

Guys ask me for advice. “I met this transsexual woman at a club and I am really attracted to her but I am concerned that it means I am gay or something. Am I?”

Some careful dialogue with the guy usually uncovers the fact that he was very attracted to the TS’s femininity. Her look, her voice, her movement, her laugh, her smile, her scent, and all those other feminine cues that trigger interest and a masculine response from a guy. Gay guys are not attracted to those attributes.

Therefore, if a straight man finds himself interested in a pre-op transsexual and is experiencing some confusion as a result, then he needs to consider exactly what it is about her that is attracting him. If it’s her femininity, then he’s not responding like a gay man would, and thus shouldn’t worry about whether he’s “turning gay.” If the guy can accept that he is attracted to a somewhat different kind of woman and still wants to pursue it, take it just one step at a time.

Take her out to dinner or a movie. Talk to her about whatever, listen to her words. Look into her eyes. Can he get lost in her eyes, as he can with a GG? Can he relax around her and just enjoy being with her, as if she were a GG? If so, take one more step. Hold hands, kiss her good-night. In other words, treat her like he would any GG date, at a pace that he can handle, given his concerns. Easy!

3. What does a transsexual woman look for in a guy? Continue reading →

Big Surprise

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Bisexuals Really Do Exist!

An article from the New York Times by David Tuller

The finding is not likely to surprise bisexuals, who have long asserted that attraction often is not limited to one sex. But for many years the question of bisexuality has bedeviled scientists. A widely publicized study published in 2005, also by researchers at Northwestern, reported that “with respect to sexual arousal and attraction, it remains to be shown that male bisexuality exists.”

That conclusion outraged bisexual men and women, who said it appeared to support a stereotype of bisexual men as closeted homosexuals.

In the new study, published online in the journal Biological Psychology, the researchers relied on more stringent criteria for selecting participants. To improve their chances of finding men aroused by women as well as men, the researchers recruited subjects from online venues specifically catering to bisexuals.

They also required participants to have had sexual experiences with at least two people of each sex and a romantic relationship of at least three months with at least one person of each sex.

Men in the 2005 study, on the other hand, were recruited through advertisements in gay-oriented and alternative publications and were identified as heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual based on responses to a standard questionnaire.

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San Francisco is Getting It Right

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We’re down to somewhere between 33% and 35% of cutting male infants in the United States. More parents are beginning to question this bizarre, antiquated practice. I’m not really wanting to advocate more laws, but I wish there had been one when I was born.

The following is an article in the guardian.co.uk, written by Neil Howard and Rebecca Steinfeld.

Time to ban male circumcision?

San Francisco voters will decide later this year whether, like its female counterpart, male infant circumcision should be outlawed. If passed, article 50 — the “Genital Cutting of Male Minors” — would make it unlawful to circumcise, cut, or mutilate the foreskin, testicles, or penis of another person aged under 18. The bill includes an exemption for cases of medical necessity, but not for custom or ritual, which has profound implications for the many Jews and Muslims who consider it an essential part of their religious or cultural practice.

Unsurprisingly, the bill has attracted considerable controversy. Some regard it as a modern manifestation of western antisemitism, while certain feminist groups consider the idea of comparing male and female genital cutting to be both offensive and unsubstantiated.

 Neither the World Health Organisation nor the UN oppose male circumcision, and given that the procedure is so unquestioned that 33% of American boys still undergo it, one might think that they have a point. But is it really so simple? And are the differences between male and female circumcision really so straightforward?

 According to research, the sexual damage caused by female and male genital cutting can be extensive. Female genital cutting, which can involve removal of the clitoris, may reduce the likelihood of orgasm and cause complications during childbirth. Similarly, male circumcision can result in excruciating pain, nerve destruction, infection, disfigurement and sometimes death. Like the clitoris, the foreskin serves a sexual purpose, and it protects the “head” of the penis from outside elements.

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Circumcision … A Jewish Perspective

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From the Jewish Daily Forward

By Jay Michaelson

For several decades, opposition to circumcision has been building in the United States and within the American Jewish community. This year, the people of San Francisco will see on their ballots a proposed ordinance banning circumcision entirely, with no exception for religious Jews or Muslims. As others have written in these pages already, this measure is offensive and overbroad, and at least some of its proponents are clearly guilty of anti-Semitism. (It is also, in my view, unconstitutional.) Civil liberties groups and Jewish organizations have roundly condemned it, and defeat seems likely.

But San Francisco is a harbinger of things to come, and critiques of circumcision are not limited to the lunatic fringe. Opponents say that circumcision is a brutal, nonconsensual mutilation of a child that results in a permanent loss of sensitivity. Our society doesn’t allow parents to abuse their children, this argument runs, so why should we allow this particular form of violence, which is irrevocable and damaging? Proponents counter that circumcision reduces the risk of HIV transmission and of some STDs, that the “mutilation” in question is relatively minor, and that, in the case of religious communities, it is time honored and religiously mandated.

Personally, were it not for my Jewish heritage, I would never circumcise a child of my own. (I do not have children, though my partner and I are considering it.) There is no question that circumcision reduces sexual pleasure, which I find philosophically repugnant. In fact, whether or not this was the original purpose of the mitzvah, the power of circumcision to reduce pleasure was well known to Jewish sages; Maimonides, for example, praises circumcision for just that reason. In addition, it is an unnecessary form of surgery, and it is indeed permanent; your son cannot change his mind about it later, even if he were to discontinue Jewish religious observance. And all of us who have been to a circumcision ceremony know that — for some babies, at least — it does seem to hurt. Finally, while there may be marginal health benefits to circumcision, I’d rather invest the time teaching my son about safer sex than slice into the body that God and nature have formed.

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Does Circumcision Make It Safer

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In male human anatomy, the foreskin (1) is a generally retractable double-layered fold of skin and mucous membrane that covers the glans penis (3) and protects the urinary meatus (2) when the penis is not erect.

The outside of the foreskin is a continuation of the skin on the shaft of the penis, but the inner foreskin is a mucous membrane (5) like the inside of the eyelid or the mouth. The mucocutaneous zone occurs where the outer and inner foreskin meet. Like the eyelid, the foreskin is free to move after it separates from the glans, usually by puberty. Smooth muscle fibers keep it close to the glans but make it highly elastic.  The foreskin is attached to the glans with a frenulum (4), which helps return the foreskin over the glans. At the end of the foreskin, there is a band of tissue called the ridged band, (6) which, according to some researchers, contains nerve endings called Meissner’s corpuscles. According to a study by Sorrells et al. (2007), the five most sensitive areas of the penis are on the foreskin.

Like the penis itself, foreskins come in all shapes and sizes.

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Some doctors and researchers believe there are medical and practical reasons to circumcise men.

From MedicalDude.com

Gay Men Undergoing Circumcision Would Have Limited

Impact On Preventing HIV

Adult circumcision has been proposed as a possible HIV prevention strategy for gay men, but a new study by the University of Pittsburgh Graduate School of Public Health presented at the XVIII International AIDS Conference suggests it would have a very small effect on reducing HIV incidence in the United States.

Circumcision is thought to reduce the risk of HIV transmission by removing cells in the foreskin that are most susceptible to infection by the virus. Clinical trials conducted in Africa have found it reduces the risk of HIV in heterosexual men, yet there is little evidence that it can reduce transmission among American gay men.

The study was based on surveys of 521 gay and bisexual men in San Francisco. Findings indicated that 115 men (21 percent) were HIV-positive and 327 (63 percent) had been circumcised. Of the remaining 69 men (13 percent), only three (0.5 percent) said they would be willing to participate in a clinical trial of circumcision and HIV prevention, and only four (0.7 percent) were willing to get circumcised if it was proven safe and effective in preventing HIV.

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What would you change about your genitals?

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As a writer, I enjoy penning tales that celebrate male beauty, mind, body and soul.  As doctors and researchers, the folks in the psychology department at McGill University are concerned with how men evaluate certain features of their genitals.

In fact they are conducting research on this very subject in the form of an Internet survey, which I found to be an interesting piece of research in this era of size matters.

Enlightenedmale2000 currently gets around four hundred hits a day, most of which, I assume, are from men. And since men, gay straight, bisexual or otherwise, are critically conscientious of their genitals, this survey sparked my curiosity about what you would change about yours.

The following image is my perception of perfection.  Not too much pubic hair or too little.   The penis is not too big or too small and is accompanied by a nice low hanging scrotum, nearly hairless and weighted with a pair of well-defined testicles, all of which has appealing shape and color.  I would trade with this guy.

penis

So, given a chance to change something about your genitals, what would it be?  A longer or thicker penis? More or less pubic hair?  A straighter erection?  A harder erection?  Want your foreskin back, or get rid of the one you have?  Larger or smaller glans?  A mole or wart in the wrong place?  Or maybe you’re among the fortunate few who are completely satisfied by how everything is hanging down there.

Would You Want to be 100% Straight?

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So you’ve recognized the fact you’re attracted to men.  Is that something you regret?  If you walked into a French Quarter voodoo shop in New Orleans and found, among the spider eggs, fly wings, and toad stools, a magic potion that would make you 100% straight, would you grab it up and drink it as fast as you could?

emotion1

How many gay or bisexual men have asked themselves this question?  I bet 99% of them.  What if a pill would do it, would you swallow two or three  and then stare at yourself in the mirror, waiting for the change, wondering what you will look like straight?  Or perhaps you find out about a tribal dance practiced by young warriors in Kenya that makes real men out of boys; would you put on a loincloth, take up a spear and give it hell around a backyard bonfire come the next full moon?  Given the circumstances gay and bisexual men face in our misguided society, it’s little wonder if some of them would.

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But when you get under the surface, below the lifetime of negative self-images and male identity questions, all that history that has glommed together to comprise your uniqueness, would you really want to give up one of the most vivid colors in your rainbow?  You’ve finally gotten past all those gender-identity issues and have learned how to let your thoughts blossom without self-imposed limits–would you really want to force all that  vital roundness back into such a small square hole?

in-thought

Your liberated sexuality defines far more than the shape of the human body that attracts you, it’s interrelated with other facets of your persona.  It’s likely to make people perceive you as interesting, whether they know about your sexuality or not.  It plays a role in the books you chose to read, the movies you choose to see, the places you choose to travel to, the friends you choose.  Without it, you may not even be interested in books, or you may find yourself lined up with the masses at the next college coed exploitation movie.  You might even identify with those guys in TV beer commercials, heaven forbid.

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A New American Trend?

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Apparently going topless is a revelation.  It shouldn’t be.  Why we’re so freaky about the human body in America is a puzzle to me.  Maybe it’s because so many of us have given our bodies over to Twinkies and donuts.  People like being naked because it feels good.  They like the sense of freedom, the feel of sunlight and fresh air on their skin.  They like the joy and magic of being human.  There should be more breaches, walking trails and swimming holes, etc. for adults who understand this sensual sense of freedom.  The following article about women who are bold enough to protest our archaic nudity laws reflects a step in this direction.

From The Daily News, New York

By Joe Jackson

Some were shocked. Others disgusted. But for some, it was the breast day ever!

topless

Dozens of semi-nude women gave the city a Double-D eyeful Sunday when they bared their boobs in Central Park and then marched through the streets.

The daring display was part of “National Go-Topless Day” – indeed, there is such a thing – and stunned jaded New Yorkers and wide-eyed tourists alike.

“This is unbelievable – and super,” said Dalvin Jan, 21, who rents bicycles for a living on Central Park South. “I’m going to tell my wife to join in.”

With Chaka Khan’s “I’m Every Woman” blaring from speakers and chants of “free your breasts, free your mind,” the troupe of bare-breasted women – and their enthusiastic male supporters – paraded their way along Central Park South.

“We’re all here for the same reason – to allow women to be free in the park like men,” organizer Sylvie Chabot, 54, of Montreal, told the crowd at a midday rally at Columbus Circle.

Motorists honked their horns in support while bemused tourists took photos from passing tour buses.

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Can Guys Actually be Bisexual?

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The following article from gay.com reflects a point-of-view many gay men have.  Sadly, it misses the mark, and does nothing to enhance human understanding.  To deny the existence of bisexual men, simply because they are also attracted to to men, is tantamount to what a straight man might surmise when he gazes between his girlfriend’s legs: “With this available to any man, there can’t be such a thing as gay men . . . only men who are afraid of women.”

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From gay.com,  By: Ari Bendersky

There’s a joke that’s been floating around for a while. Questions: What’s the difference between a gay guy and a straight guy? Answer: about a six pack. For many gay men, landing a straight guy is tantamount to getting a great job, buying a Porsche or heading out on a two-month trip of Europe. It’s a goal a lot of gay men set for themselves, but one that they rarely achieve. When they do, questions arise: Is the guy really straight? Is he bisexual? these questions usually beg a final question: Is it really possible for a guy to be bisexual? There are a lot of opinions about this, but when you ask gay men, the answer is often “No.”

In our culture, if a guy has oral or anal intercourse with another guy, most would say that he’s gay, because, for many of us, “being gay” describes a man who has sex with other men.

Sure, we can say that many other things go into being gay, but sexual activity is what many of us believe what makes up the person who is gay. A man could be into leather and Levi’s; he could really like theater; he could really be into fashion. These interests don’t necessarily make a man gay, though. But when this man has sex with other men, there’s really no denying what camp he falls into.

So what do we make of these guys who define themselves as “bi”? Are they really fooling themselves as they screw their way down the path to gayhood, or do they really enjoy having sex with women? I realize that some people are just sexually charged and will take it wherever they can get it. But I say that if you’re a guy having sex with another guy, chances are there’s a part of you that’s in denial, and only time will tell when you finally come around to the realization that, yup, you’re gay.

A lot of guys are all about animal instinct. We get it when we can. We need to drop our seed and move on to the next guy. OK, OK — I just heard a collective scream from all of you who believe in the sanctity of a monogamous relationship. Of course emotions play a role in gay male relationships, and there’s no question that men can commit to each other. But think about how many gay couples you know who play around, either together or separately. Why? Because gay men like to screw.

And we like to watch people screwing. How many porn stars are “gay for pay”? These hot, buff, sexy guys who start out doing solo scenes, and then they let some guy have oral sex with them, and next thing you know they’re a Falcon exclusive bottoming for everyone. But then you hear they have wives or girlfriends away from the cameras who are very understanding and supportive. Or are they just stupid? Are these guys really doing it for the money and fame and glory? My opinion is that they’re not bi. They’re not straight. They’re gay and they’re fooling themselves. Or they’re fooling us. But do we care? As long as they bring the six pack, we’re usually pretty OK with it.