The notion that all men prefer large breasts has finally been put to rest. Many men find smaller breasts to be extraordinarily feminine and quite beautiful. It seems, for women anyway, the focus has moved further south, down between her legs that is.
The porn industry and countless websites have created an image of the perfect vagina, one that consists of a nondescript public mound divided by an alluring crevice; not that these women aren’t exquisite, but no more so that those who have a few three dimensional features down there.
While some men are worried their penises are too small, some women are worried their labia are too large, or too dark, or too one thing or another. Most guys would think this seems like a silly thing to worry about, given how tantalizing that particular female body part looks in these images. Without her clothes, women with protruding labia have a physical personality that you would think other women would be envious of. They have genitals a man can lose himself in.
Thing is, we’re human. Humans often come with, among other misguided ideas, preconceived notions. Somehow we’ve been schooled on what a flawless human body should look like and few of us believe the body we live in falls into that category.
Ten to one says your partner is glad you have a few “flaws” to offset what they see as their own. So for a number of reasons, this is one of my favorite subjects to feature on Enlightened Male, the least of which not being the simple fact these women, or partial images of women, are nice to look at. But my primary reason to focus on protruding labia is for women to think twice before selling themselves short, and twice more before going forward with something as dramatic, risky and unnecessary as labiaplasty.
For more on this subject see Labiaplasty (What do “normal” labia look like?)
In a recent comment on Enlightened Male, Cindy writes:
I would like to see you do something about women who are extremely self conscious because of the exact opposite. Very small labia which is my case. I can not get over the number of women who are getting labiaplasty done while I wish I had what they want to be rid of. My labia is almost non-existent and would welcome you doing some sort of post about this. I know a lot of men really admire protruding labia and I feel like I am missing out. It would be nice to know there are more women like myself who feel left out and personally, I feel like I am underdeveloped or something. I obviously think protruding labia on a woman looks quite beautiful and normal.
You’ve probably heard that no two snowflakes are the same. The same holds true for human vulvas. They come in as many variations as male genitals do, all of them designed to accommodate a male penis, at which point there is not a dimes worth of difference. They all feel wet, warm and heavenly.
The difference from one woman to the next also applies to her labia minora, as you can see in the above image. Most of the email I get from women and girls that are self-conscious about their genitals is about their large protruding labia. Cindy is talking about labia minora that are all but not existent. So whatever the perfect female vulva is, many women suffer from feeling different, inadequate, or cheated, much like men do with their penis size, shape or color.
I sympathize with Cindy on her feelings. There is something to be said for labia minora that make their presence know by protruding from the outer folds, just like there is something to be said for large, robust penises. Problem is most of us are equiped with private parts that don’t matched what is generally perceived as “perfect”. For women, protruding labia gives her genitals a certain sexual appearance, a personality you might say. For many men, they are a visual turn-on. Protruding or puffy labia gives male or female partners more to caress, suck on and play with. On a man, many believe a larger penis gives him a manly virile look, that he may be more likely to satisfy a woman, that the bulge looks compelling in his jeans. As such, most of us believe we weren’t put together the way we think we should be.
Cindy’s dilemma may be solved by a technique called labia stretching. The labia are composed of pliable, stretchy tissue that, if pulled consistently and over a long enough period of time, will eventually grow longer. Women that want longer, protruding labia can actually achieve this by consistent stretching. To gain results will take significant time and determination. It’s an ancient practice, a ritual fairly common is some early cultures passed from one generation to the next, often started at an early age. Astonishing lengths of many inches have been achieved. It was believed that more prominent labia enhanced sexual pleasure for both partners. Today, since longer labia minora seems to be gaining popularity, more and more women are making the effort.
Many online adult toy stores sell labia weights with specially designed (friendly) clips. They look something like earrings. I don’t know if these are effective or not, but at the very least it would be a very sensual experience. It’s not likely your boyfriend or husband would object to seeing you walk around the house all day with your labia hanging between your legs with weights.
For more about labia stretching see: www.labiastretching.com
I’m currently working on a collection of erotic short stories, one called The Girl in Greenwich Village, which I have posted the first draft here. It’s about a man that falls desperately in love from afar with the girl next door, a girl who is self-conscious about her protruding labia that he has become obsessed with and watches every night through her window. The story is for anyone who enjoys erotic stories, but it’s especially for young women that feel abnormal because of their labia size.
Her apartment is directly across the alley from mine, fourth floor. Hers is a tiny one room flat: a bathroom, a fold-down bed, a corner kitchette with a small stove near the window I’m looking through. Mine, somewhat bigger, has three rooms. I’m in my living room, sitting where I sit every night, falling in love all over again.
Her blinds are never closed. It must not occur to her that someone may be staring in her window, like she is living in her own private world free to enjoy being home alone without wearing clothes. I have watched her every night from the first night I moved in, captivated, enchanted, building a world in my mind where she and I fall in love. I have thought of little else since. When it’s dark outside, with my lights off, I can see everything she does in her room. The first night I saw her, she was walking out of her bathroom, still wet from taking a shower.
Forgetting the boxes I still had to unpack, I pulled a chair close to the window and stared as she patted her body dry with a towel. Time ceased to exist. Everything else in my mind evaporated. It must have been that very night that I fell in love with her, became obsessed, began creating fanciful scenarios of the two of us together, both of us naked, perhaps talking about our day, or maybe watching a movie, just the two of us being comfortable together without the inhibitions of the everyday world.
She is of Asian descent. Her olive color body has possessed me from the first moment I saw her, the color of her skin, her stature and mannerisms, her long willowy legs, her soft feminine curves. Just by looking at her I know she and I are one, like counterparts though we’ve never met, walking the same path with the same hopes and dreams, as if destiny has already written our future.
Slightly above average height, her olive color skin perfectly matches her short dark brown hair. Her delicate shoulders compliment her narrow waist, flat belly and long willowy legs. Her protruding pelvic bones give her a sculptured look. The dramatic flare of her hips draws attention to her fleshy round buttocks. As I watch her each night, I feel her soft smooth skin on the palms of my hands, supple, warm and receptive. We take walks together in Central park. We take cross-country drives. We walk hand-in-hand along desert beaches.
Her female features are unlike any I have ever seem, irresistible female embellishments, uncommon, unique, tantalizing beyond any I have ever imagined. Her large brown nipples are upturned and appear to be perpetually swollen, like dark amplified peaks that crown the summits of her small breasts. I see myself sucking them, pinching and pulling them, watching her squirm and listening to her squeals.
Between her legs she has the most uncommon, yet captivating female characteristics I’ve ever seen. Rather than the puffy, nondescript slit one expects to see hidden in a triangle of hair, her pussy is a prominent mound, smooth shaven, enhanced by protruding inner labia that hang between her legs like a succulent pair of dark fleshy butterfly wings. I long to taste them and make them swell. I long to part them with my fingers and reveal the female mysteries that promise to take me to the center of the Universe. I long to feel their wrinkly texture with my tongue as I suck them and pull them with my teeth, and make her writhe with ecstasy. I long to feel them sliding along the shaft of my penis as I penetrate her.
I have lost myself in her. My days are spent contemplating my return to the chair in front of my window, where I watch her until she turns out her light. She is the magic in my erections, the object of my climaxes and my dreams, the source of my destiny. I imagine the smell her skin after a day’s work, the girlish sweat of her underarms, the tart odors between the fleshy rounds of her buttocks, the musk of womanhood between her legs, damp and fragrant.
I’m married to her. I’m with her every night. I think about her at work, on the train home, lying in bed at night, when I masturbate during my morning shower. She’s in my thoughts, my dreams, my every waking moment. I have followed her to work, watched her look at dresses at Macy’s, watched her eat a sandwich at the deli down the street. I’ve watched her prepare her dinner, make her bed, read a book in the square across the street. I’ve watched her rub her pussy when she takes off her panties, like a man does to adjust his genitals when he takes off his underwear, but she is doing it so that her beautiful labia hang freely.
Foremost in my daydreams is the day we meet. When? How? How will I go about introducing myself? What will I say? Will she know I’m in love with her the moment our eyes connect? Has she ever noticed me watching her from my window? Will she be glad we have finally met? Will recognize her destiny with me as I have found my destiny with her. Or will she think I’m strange, the man she has seen in the shadows, a hopelessly sad voyeur?
It’s Saturday morning. I awaken to the city noises on the street, detect the faint smell of semen that I have left on the sheets. The girl was in my thoughts as I fell asleep, as I masturbated, breathing the scent of her exposed secrets, secrets only she and I share. I twist my legs off the bed and head for the window, my erection bobbing before me.
Standing in the shadows of my living room, I see her having breakfast at the table, same chair where she always sits, a bowl of cereal it seems. I watch how she brings the spoon to her mouth, leaning forward a bit to skim the pages of an open magazine just beyond the bowl. How beautiful she is in the morning light, her naked body like caramel cream in the soft light, her legs slightly parted under the table, her small breasts with their glorious nipples dropping slightly as she leans forward to turn another page. Continue readingPin It
“I can’t really remember how old I was when I first noticed how large my labia were, but its been a cause of grief for as long as I can remember. For years I actually thought I was hermaphrodic (spelling?) and this obviously didn’t make my self-esteem any better. I have never told anyone about it, not even my mum or best friend. Due to this, and some other issues of self consciousness, I have never been involved with anyone – that’s right, I’m nineteen and never kissed anyone or had a boyfriend, and probably won’t any time soon. How pathetic is that?
“A few years ago, when I actually did some research and discovered what it was, and learnt about labioplasty, I vowed to have it done as soon as I was eighteen. I turned eighteen late last year and booked in for surgery this year for it. This was all done in secret – I even arranged for the secretary to discharge me afterward so that my parents would never know I’d had an operation.
“I have a congenital disease which means I’ve got surgical (necessary, none of them cosmetic) scars all about the place and also have some other resultant undesirable features, but the labia was the only thing I have never been able to accept about myself, for some reason it is just so humiliating, and so I intended for years to spend my life savings on this surgery.
“By some stroke of luck – good or bad luck I don’t know – I got quite sick the night before I was due to be admitted and had to reschedule the operation, and as I am going away for study I cannot get another spot until very late next year. The books don’t go that far ahead so I don’t have any date set at the moment.
“As of late I’ve been doing some more research about it, and quite appreciated this blog (I think its a blog?) about the subject. However, something I’ve noticed – all the pictures you’ve posted, as far as I can see, are of regular labia. Both sides are the same size. You say men like larger labia, but what about larger /irregular/ labia? Is this asymmetry not a cause for distaste, even subconsciously? Symmetry (of anything) seems to be a large factor in attractiveness. I understand that you’re trying to raise self-esteem, but I’d really appreciate an honest answer, please. Of labia that are not only larger, but are more on the ‘elongated’ side (as in not flat or wide, just long) and which are quite irregular.
“The deposit on the surgery was $1,000 and I will lose this even if I manage to get the rest of the cost back if I cancel. So I am concerned about cancelling and losing that money pointlessly even if I do end up deciding against the procedure. So there’s another question – should I just do it anyway?
“This is an enormous cause of embarrassment but there is something to be said about internet anonymity being a relief. Thanks.”
Since you stated the the women in the pictures below have “normal” size labia, I’ll begin by including some additional photos of women with even larger labia.
“When I am giving a woman cunnilingus with big Labia lips, they usually have stronger & more enjoyable orgasm then the ones that have very small lips inside. I like to lick & suck on those nice big lips, but I can not do that with the small ones. And also intercourse is much nicer with nicer big soft lips, they feel very good. The ones with the small lips on the inside do not feel as good & it is much harder for them & me to have a orgasm.”
“I am a normal guy and have a few friends who like large labia, but not as much as I do… I just love them, the bigger the better… my last girlfriend had nice big ones and that made me happy, just looking at them or kissing them was very enjoyable. I don’t have a girlfriend at the moment and I really miss her big lips and I get a bit lonely so sometimes I look at pics on girlie sites and in the end I always end up looking for nice large labia pics, sometimes I find really nice big ones, I love them so much and really enjoy looking at them. So all you ladies with large labia are very lucky, I would guess that most guys would be very impressed and happy with them, so you should be very proud of them and if your boyfriend doesn’t like them perhaps you should find someone new who does love them, I am sure there are millions of guys like me who just love them very much.”
“I love large labia and am extremely attracted to it. Embrace it; don’t be self-conscious. Seeing them in a bikini is a huge turn-on.” Continue readingPin It
Meet Vanessa Scott. Vanessa is a consultant that advises women who, for various reasons, are concerned about their labia size. Through our correspondence, I have come to admire Vanessa for the work she does guiding women in the right direction, not only by her one-on-one consultations, but also through her comprehensive and objective website and her magnificent worldview. I invited Vanessa to write a guest article for Enlightened Male because of our many female visitors here. She was gracious enough to accept my invitation.
By Vanessa Scott, April 6, 2012
There may be nothing more sacred on this Earth than the female vulva. It has the power to rule Kings and grown men will frequently do almost anything for a mere glimpse at one.
No different than the male penis, they come in all shapes and sizes. Some are bigger and some are smaller. Some are symmetrical while others are not. Some have darker pigmentation others lighter pigmentation.
So do men have a preference? Ask any man, and you are likely to get the same answer, “No”. Most real men will simply appreciate their woman the way she is. Larger labia, no problem, he can love that. Smaller labia, that’s perfect as well.
But there can be no doubt that this simple fact has been lost on a growing number of the women around the world. The International Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons reported a 43% increase worldwide in Labia Reduction surgeries, with more than 67,000 performed in 2010.
And this doesn’t take into account the number done by vaginal surgery specialists and gynecologists. The real number is certainly much higher and increasing every year.
So the question becomes, why? Why are women choosing with their own free will to undergo a reduction surgery for their labia?
Roughly four years ago, I worked for one of the premier cosmetic vaginal surgeons in the world. An eye opening experience that I am grateful for. Not long after, I began helping women globally on my site Vaginal-Surgery.info.
Today, tens of thousands of women visit the site each month. Some are just trying to understand their bodies while others have already had surgery. Continue readingPin It
Like snow flakes and roses, like men and their specialized parts, no two women are physically alike, not their smiles, not their hair styles, not the petals between their legs. Like men, women fret over the nuances of their bodies. When it comes to our genitals, many men are convinced their penises are too small, or the wrong color, or it curves too much, or a host of other concerns. Women worry their breasts are too small, or too large, or their butts are too wide. Some women are concerned about their labia; specifically, they’re too large and they protrude.
I have put together this article to give women a male perspective, not just mine but also those who are taking the accompanying pol and those who are leaving comments. Let me say early on that men like you the way your are down there, even more so if things down there are intriguing.
I suppose the perfect scenario is a plump mound, divided by a uniform slit that runs down through the legs, revealing no more than the faintest hit of the inner labia. Granted it’s a nice scenario, but only one, one that might not fire the imagination quite so dramatically as the compelling presence of protruding labia. It seems to me the presence of extended labia gives the vagina a certain character, a personality of sorts.
If the male foreskin is laden with sensitive nerve endings, it stands to reason the female labia have similar characteristics. One would think this is an advantage. From a male’s perspective, there is more to play with, something to toy with with one’s tongue, something to suck. Where does the disadvantage come in considering all of this?
Hardly. Among other things, men are visual creatures. You can hardly imagine the thrill of slipping a woman’s panties down for the first time. He has imagined it frequently from the moment he met you. The first time he sees your pussy, he will be thrilled, immensely turned on, and more than ready to get started using his hands, his tongue and other parts of his body. The physical appearance of your labia are the last of his concerns.
Yes, there may indeed be a few guys that would harbor reservations. These guys have seen Playboy magazine; they know what a pussy is suppose to look like. Well, and I hate to admit it, but a lot of us are jerks or dumb-asses. To prove my point, just look at the commercials on TV during a football game. You know who I’m talking about. So what difference does it make? Could you really get interested in a man this shallow, or even care what he thinks?
I can understand why some women have negative feelings about their protruding or large labia. Men are the same way about their penises … too small, curved too much, too hairy … so we’re all pretty much in the same boat. None of us are perfect, and most of us perceive our “flaws” with exaggerated emotions. But labia, like penises, are like snowflakes … no two are the same. In fact they are part of our physical personalities that make the human race interesting. Therefore, in this post you will see a variety of labia, all of which are normal, all of which would thrill nearly any man or any female lover.
We’re all self-conscious about our bodies to begin with: too short or tall, fat or thin, our complexions are too light or dark or have imperfections, our butts are too flat or too broad … the worries are endless. But the labia are a special part of a special part, a part that women want to share with someone special. So they, like men and their penises, use the Internet and certain magazines to establish what is apparently an ideal look for their genitals. No wonder so many plastic surgeons drive a Mercedes Benz, especially those that do labiaplasty, a procedure, if purely for cosmetic reasons, I hope to discourage you from.
Me and my boyfriend are thinking about having sex for the first time, I have never let him see my large labia before because I am worried what he might think. They are very large and are dark brown in colour, is this normal? Is this even attractive?
After finding out my b/f uses porn to help him along when I’m not around, I decided to keyword “large labia” on the Internet to see if what he’s looking at looks like me. …Apart from them being teens, which I’m not, I’m 27, all of the girls had small ‘perfect’ looking labia, again, which I don’t have. I already felt self conscious about my labia, both minora and majora are large and hang quite low, they’re pretty symmetrical but there is a lot of them to say the least. I found a website showing all sorts of labia sizes, even larger ones similar to mine.. whilst I think they’re beautiful I still find mine pretty ugly. Added to that I never know what to do with the hair down there, leave it long to hide the big lips, or have it short, neat and tidy but have my horrible lips hanging for all to see. I don’t know. Its odd that I can view other large labia as attractive, some of them even turned me on if I’m honest, but I still think mine are ugly.
I think my vagina lips are not normal. My inner lips are way way bigger then my outer ones! It wasn’t like that when I was little! It really bugs me. I won’t even let my boyfriend touch me there, cause I’m afraid he will think I’m not normal or something. My boyfriend has asked me if I wanted to have sex but I turned him down because of this. Is my vagina normal?
* * *
I’ve read a lot of articles on labia but I still can’t seem to get the thought of my own out of my head. I have large labia that noticeable which I know are normal but still bother me. I think it looks gross in certain underwear and I am very insecure about it. At times I even try to tuck them in so you can see them. I am 16 and started noticing this about a year or so ago. I am not sure if I was always like this or not. I’ve been with this guy for about 8 months and hes been down there with his hands and what not but I am a virgin and I was very skeptical about even letting him preform oral sex on me because of the reaction that he might have thinking it’s disgusting. About a week ago at his house things started to get serious but kept my hands covering my vagina because I was nervous. He was confused at why I would do that and told me he really want to give me oral sex and I really wanted to. I eventually let him and he did not say one thing bout my larger labia. I was very surprised and pleased but couldn’t shake the idea of what he really thought. I still consider surgery when I turn 18 for myself. I just cannot get the thought that I look gross out of my mind. I really need help on what I should do.
Being sexually active, I have become more conscious about my vagina. I am very Continue readingPin It
Should you be concerned?
Many of us hold secrets about our bodies that we’re reluctant to share with anyone, yet they haunt us everyday, especially when we look at ourselves in the mirror. Many men think their penis is too small, or curves too much, or has an undesirable shape. For a woman, concerning her most private parts, it’s the size, shape and color of her labia.
And since this site is about body acceptance, the subject is clearly on-topic. My first post on the subject generated lots of interest, so I thought I’d revisit the subject, this time from a different slant.
Fact is, labia are like snowflakes … every one is different. As a girl goes through puberty, her genes deliver Mother Nature’s artistic creativity to various parts of her body: the curve of her hips, her breast size and shape, patterns of hair, the design and size of her labia. She has preconceived notions of what her body should look like, and she compares her body to other girls, all too often believing she comes up short. A little surfing on the Internet and the silent suffering often worsens. All those beautiful, perfect girls! Why does my labia stick out?
She wants to look like the other girls, and if she’s old enough to be sexually active, she worries about what her boyfriend thinks, or will think if she allows him to turn the light on.
“I think my vagina lips are not normal. My inner lips are way way bigger then my outer ones! It wasn’t like that when I was little! It really bugs me. I won’t even let my boyfriend touch me there, cause I’m afraid he will think I’m not normal or something. My boyfriend has asked me if I wanted to have sex but I turned him down because of this. Is my vagina normal?”
“I’ve read a lot of your articles on labia but I still can’t seem to get the thought of my own out of my head. Mine are big and noticeable which I know are normal but still bother me. I think it looks gross in certain underwear and I am very insecure about it. At times I even try to tuck them in so you can see them. I am 16 and started noticing this about a year or so ago. I am not sure if I was always like this or not. I’ve been with this guy for about 8 months and hes been down there with his hands and what not but I am a virgin and I was very skeptical about even letting him preform oral sex on me because of the reaction that he might have thinking it’s disgusting. About a week ago at his house things started to get serious but kept my hands covering my vagina because I was nervous. He was confused at why I would do that and told me he really want to give me oral sex and I really wanted to. I eventually let him and he did not say one thing bout my larger labia. I was very surprised and pleased but couldn’t shake the idea of what he really thought. I still consider surgery when I turn 18 for myself. I just cannot get the thought that I look gross out of my mind. I really need help on what I should do.”
“Being sexually active, I have become more conscious about my vagina. I am very concerned about the physical appearance of my vagina. It’s really embarrassing. There’s extra skin on the left side of my vagina that hangs down, it’s kind of wrinkly, and it’s stretchy. It did not appear out of nowhere, I’ve had it for a long time. Is it normal? or is something bad that I should have removed? Please help me. I’m very confused and embarrassed.”