I doubt anyone would argue that anuses were designed to be pretty.

You probably haven’t engaged in a discussion about anuses lately … unless you’re a proctologist. If you meet someone new that you’re likely to be intimate with, and you’re wondering what they look like naked, it’s probably not what his or her anus looks like that you’re thinking about. You probably haven’t even seen many anuses, in the flesh that is, including your own without the awkward use of a handheld mirror. Almost everyone is a little coy about this part of his or her body. Even where public nudity is common, a nude beach for example, sightings aren’t that common. Those fleshy rounds of gluteal muscle we have keeps our anuses quite well hidden from public view.

Of course that depends on how your buttocks is designed. Just as our anuses are all unique in subtle, sometimes dramatic ways, so are the butts that hide them. In the picture above, the guy’s anus is exposed by merely bending over, fairly common. The girl is revealing everything just by turning her back to us.

Which brings up another intriguing aspect of the human anus … it’s a part of the body in which men and women are remarkably similar. Not that gender is a difficult thing to determine with a quick glimpse, but that’s mainly because of the surrounding characteristics. For one thing, a man’s is generally hairier. His anus’s closest neighbor is a pair of testicles, a dead giveaway. The woman’s, almost as if her anus’s neighborhood is based on zero lot lines, is mere centimeters away from her vagina. You would expect a man’s to be darker, but as in the above pictures, obviously that’s not the case.

They are most often called assholes. Technically they are holes, though they usually don’t look like one. On the other hand, sometimes they do, like those pictured above. These two have well-defined holes, complete with shadows within. Just another little nuance that makes our bodies all the more interesting. It’s our naughty erogenous zone.

Here is another variation in our gluteal design. Even in the position this fellow is posing in, you can’t really see his anus. All you see is a certain drama at play, a shadowy rift that let’s you know with absolute certainty what you are almost looking at. A pair of determined thumbs or adventurous fingers are required to expose his anus to the sunlight.

I dare say female anuses get more attention than their male counterparts. Most men would see the above image as delicious. A number of scenarios would unfold in his mind were he to come upon a woman in this position, scenarios that wouldn’t exclude his fingers or tongue, nor exclude the smaller of the two orifices. For a man, the whole of what’s under those panties are dessert. Many woman, on the other hand, are loathe to venture too far behind a man’s balls, though finding yourself in bed with one of these more adventurous women is akin to winning the lottery.

While nondescript describes the physical characteristics of many anuses, dramatic is a good word to describe those like the ones pictured above. It’s a combination of things: darker surrounding colors, generous patterns of hair, and a variety of creases, wrinkles, fissures, pleats and folds that heighten the mystery and uniqueness. Interesting when you think about it, how fascinating the human body is, not that I think people gathered in social groups will be bending over and checking out each others anus anytime soon. Then again, why not? Just think about the resulting discussions, the commentary, the comparisons. Could be the most fun you’ve ever had at a party.

The lady above seems to be issuing an invitation. “You can look at my anus if you want.” “You can touch it if you want.” “You can stick your finger in it if you want.” “You can …” well, you know what comes next. But why would she want you to do these things, even hold her cheeks open to be more accommodating?  You know the answer if, during an evening of passion, you’ve ever had someone’s finger caress your anus, or had someone lick it, or stick their finger inside.

You would know that our anuses are rife with sensitive nerve endings, part of our sexual Continue reading →