Buddies, Beer and the Blue Jays

Here’s a blog written by a thoughtful Bi-married guy in Toronto.  I think he’s on to something.  He’s organized a group for bi-married guys in Toronto to get together and socialize, even develop deep personal friendships.  Every city needs something like this, since bisexual men identify with each other and can form honest open friendships without keeping up that familiar facade. Check the blog out at The Bi Married Mafia.

From Bi Gentleman in Toronto:

Last night I had the occasion to go to a Blue Jays game with a new buddy from out Bi Married Beer Night. We had a great time (and to boot the Blue Jays mopped up on the Minnesota Twins!) We watched the game, made some noise, talked deep between innings, and drank beer. After the game, we went to Nathan Philips Square with what seemed the rest of Toronto and talked late about life, marriage, relationships, exes (which he spent an hour lecturing on why he thinks mine are delusional) and pretty much anything else that was relevant to our lives at this time.

These beer buddies, meet once every couple of weeks at a local pub. We sit around and joke, laugh, and talk. Most are married and deeply in the closet. Most struggle to walk this life with some measure of “clarity and decency. “ For most, this is the only group of people that have some idea of the truths of the lives that we live. Most of us chat a few times a week with each other on the internet and have actually become friends… some are more to themselves.

There is an African Proverb that says, “He who never travels thinks that his mother is the best cook.” The power of perspective and experience cannot be understated.

I am a fortunate man. I have a number of deeply close straight friends that I can talk to about just about anything. They know about me (and I know their stories as well) and we talk. I love these straight friends like my own family and have been fortunate to receive that love and acceptance back. Still there are some things that, though I can surely tell them about… they just are unable to fully “get” simply because of the limitations of their experiences and understandings.

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An Interesting Take on Adult Films

I ran across this article by Don Charles, a writer with a number of interesting credentials.  He writes about how bisexuality and homosexuality relates to Christianity, the Bible and Jesus.  Whether or not you agree with his point of view in every detail, you may find his perspective refreshing and sensible.  His blog address is here.

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The Big Nasty . . . by Don Charles

It may surprise readers of this blog to know that I sometimes watch Gay adult films. Gasp! An avowed Christian, consuming pornography? Well, it wouldn’t be the first time, would it? I’m pretty sure Christians (as well as Jews, Muslims, Buddhists and members of other faiths) comprise a substantial portion of the adult film industry’s customer base and always have. We’re sexual beings, just like everybody else on this planet. Some of us even consider ourselves connoisseurs of erotic art. Yet, celebration of sexuality is supposed to be anathema to us. We’re reputed to exercise strict control over our carnal instincts (hypocritical televangelists notwithstanding). What’s the truth about Christianity and sex? You may well ask: Is it wrong for religious folk to watch adult films, view erotic art, or in any way affirm sexuality outside the institution of marriage?

My answer comes in the form of a quote from the Savior: There is nothing outside a person that by going in can defile, but the things that come out are what defile . . . for it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: Fornication, theft, murder, adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy slander, pride (and) folly. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person (Mark 7:15, 16, 21-23). Whether pornographic products have a positive or negative impact depends on the person using them, and how they’re used, in my opinion. If partaking of adult entertainment leads a Christian to commit acts of sexual violence, promiscuity or adultery, the impact is clearly negative. In Mark 9: 43-48, the Savior instructed us on how to handle bad influences in our lives. He said: If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life maimed than to have two hands and to go to Hell. So your behavioral response to pornographic material will determine whether it’s safe for you to consume or not.

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Obviously, the amount of time spent consuming a product as intoxicating as erotica should be moderated. Those who tend to become obsessed with images of nudity and lust would do well to consider abstinence. For most Christians, I suspect watching adult films amounts to no more than a harmless, occasional pastime. However, there are certain kinds of erotic film that Christians and all principled people should abstain from watching. Films with underage performers, certainly! Films that depict adulterous relationships would fall into that category, too. Sado-masochist subject matter should be approached with caution; the more “edgy” the feature, the less likely it is to be appropriate for viewing. Often, just looking at the DVD sleeve will alert you when a particular X-rated movie goes too far. The adult entertainment industry has occasion to market some highly unsavory images, particularly where Gay sexuality is concerned. I was reminded of this just recently when I went online to buy an adult title for a friend of mine.

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Point & Shoot

It’s fun exploring the blogs on the Internet.  Here’s a quick story I ran across on Point & Shoot.

We’re having the cutest boy over for dinner tonight. (Remember, I consider anyone under 30 “a boy”.)

No, it’s not this cute boy.

L, the boy coming over tonight is even hotter because he’s a boy of color.

How did L come into the picture? It was like this:

A good friend of mine knew a young guy, N, from work. The two of them went out for coffee a few times. My friend had a feeling that the guy was gay, but it wasn’t discussed. Eventually my friend introduced his partner to N. His partner also thought he was gay.

One evening my friend sent a text and said he and his partner were taking N to the gay bar, which surprised me. They wanted me to join them. I went to the bar, saw N with my friends and thought, “Oh my God, he’s cute!” They introduced me to N and we hit it off, communication wise that is.

I took my friend aside and asked, “So did N come out to you yet?” My friend said, “No”, and since he worked with N he didn’t want to pursue it. Continue reading

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Lusting Beauty

An amazing eye for all things beautiful, especially concerning male grace, elegance and artistry.  His name is John and he has created a site that I visit regularly.  Not only does he display tasteful and unique etchings, paintings and photographs, he is  also an artist.

Here’s a sampling of the images you will see at Lusting Beauty:

Vintage Magazine Cover

Vintage Magazine Cover

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Mark Beard - Abercrombie Cover

Mark Beard - Abercrombie Cover

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Jerry Hamilton Photography

Jerry Hamilton Photography

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