A Man’s Desire for Breast Milk

Question from a reader: Martin, I just can’t help myself. My breast milk fetish is growing day by day. Recently my older sister was breastfeeding her second child in the living room, and, since she is my sister, unfortunately I can’t ask her for her milk. Please help me out. How can I solicit breast milk?

Answer: You’re not alone in your endeavor. Many men, after their wives have given birth, have found they enjoy drinking her breast milk. For both the man and the woman, it is an erotic, sensual experience that seems to enhance their bond. The practice can go on indefinitely, as long as her breasts are routinely suckled and stimulated. Though some people would consider the practice bizarre, adult breast feeding between consenting adults can be a rewarding, healthy experience.

As a single man, this option isn’t available to you. You might start by reading the testimonials on the Experience Project website under the Adult Breast Feeding topic. Here you will get both male and female perspectives from those who share your fantasy.

Also you could try using the keyword “wet nurses” to search the Internet for lactating women that provide this service. There is no official wet nurse sites for adults, but you could contact several wet nurses and see if they would be interested. Be sure to make a generous offer because they are in it for the money.

Also try posting a want ad on a local classified website. State what type of service you are looking for. Be specific about what duties this would include and be sure to state how you will compensate the woman for her services. Most women would be willing to participate only if there is money involved.

Be aware that breast milk can be contaminated. If the woman has infections or diseases, you could get them from consuming her breast milk. Have her tested for diseases prior to any services. Protect yourself by having a contract written up that states the services are consensual and have her sign it.

Also see: Erotic Lactation, and Is it Normal for Men to Drink Breast Milk?

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Foreskin Stretching

Hello Martin, I have been trying to stretch my foreskin and have been using marbles for awhile to gauge the progress, but I have been keeping it from my girlfriend cause I’m not sure how she would take it. Anyways I tossed out the marbles but have recently been using lighters (strange i know) but seems to be easy enough to use. I can get three to fit inside my foreskin with little discomfort and leave them there for 30 minutes up to an hour, then i take a break and watch my foreskin flower fall back into place, then i put them back in for another half hour or so. I have been doing this for the past two weeks and haven’t seen to notice any increase, I always feel the same discomfort when i initially put them in, but that tends to go away within a minute.

I was wondering should my foreskin gradually become more stretchy this way? Should I eventually be able to get another one in there, or another object of a greater size? I search for information on foreskin stretching but all i can seem to find are articles about restoration which clearly is not my problem.. I enjoy the look of a long loose foreskin.

foreskin stretchingMy natural state.

foreskin stretchingMy foreskin stretched with three Bic lighters.

My reply:

Interesting endeavor. Foreskin stretching is very similar to foreskin restoration. It’s all about new cell growth brought about by manipulation, such as stretching. Skin expansion is a common procedure to grow extra skin through controlled mechanical overstretch, which creates skin that matches the color, texture of the surrounding skin. What you are doing, either with the lighters or any other object that stretches the skin just slightly beyond its normal limit, will eventually achieve the results you want.

It’s not a pain free exercise. You actually have to stretch the skin enough to slightly tear apart cell tissue in the area, at which time new cells form that makes up the new skin. Some believe this can be accomplished with the entire penis, though that remains controversial and could be dangerous. If the lighters appear to be working, the idea is not to try to add a fourth lighter too quickly, as this is likely to be beyond the limits of how much your foreskin will stretch, but rather add something with a smaller diameter, say something between the size of a toothpick and a pencil. It may help to also leave these objects in for longer periods of time.

The following picture shows the seemingly unlimited extremes of skin stretching.

If an individual’s skin elasticity and vascularity allow, most piercings can be stretched far beyond their initial size. Anywhere from 0.3 in 0.5 in is normally given as the “point of no return” for earlobe piercings, as over this size there is a significant risk that the hole will never shrink back to the size of the original piercing. Many variables affect whether or not a stretched piercing will return to its original size, such as the length of time taken to stretch and the amount of time the piercing is fully healed at a particular size. One would think this also applies to the foreskin.

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Is it Normal for Men to Drink Breast Milk?

I am a male, 30. I don’t why I have a craze for breast milk. IS IT NORMAL…?

Also please let me know if breast milk is good for adults of my age. As a child I wasn’t breastfed enough as my mom was weak and usually sick (am just like her, I mean I get tired easily/ dull all the time). So by taking breast milk at this age help me in developing my immune system.

My Reply:

The health benefits are well known for infants raised on breast milk. Though the health benefits aren’t as well known in adults, it is assumed to be beneficial and currently under study. For example, breast milk has been proven to retard the growth of certain cancers. One thing is certain, it can’t hurt you, assuming the source is a healthy female. The taste is generally described as sweet.

As for your “craze for breast milk”, count yourself among a good many men that find suckling milk from a woman’s breasts to be an amazing experience. The catch is the woman has to be lactating, which occurs when she is about ready for child birth, and for a period of time afterward. The length of time depends on whether her breasts are continuously stimulated by feeding her child, or having her mate suckle her. Also, women vary on how much milk they produce. Sometimes there is barely enough for the baby, while other women may produce excessive amounts. The bottom line is it’s a personal matter between you and the woman in your life. It can be a normal, very erotic experience for both of you.

Lactation has also been known to occur if a woman’s breasts are regularly stimulated. During pregnancy, breasts are ordinarily prepared for lactation because of the influence of estrogen, progesterone, prolactin and other hormones that increase in a woman. The body naturally responds and the ducts within the breasts increase in size.  Upon completion of the pregnancy, the levels of progesterone and estrogen drop while prolactin increases, which means she starts making breast milk.  However, without pregnancy and simply through nipple stimulation, prolactin begins to be secreted. This also prompts a signal to the brain from the breast to release oxytocin, which is the key to start the production of the milk.

The Female Perspective:

Female perspectives also vary on this. (The pol below will show us how women here on Enlightened Male feel about the subject) While some women may find the idea of their husbands suckling their breast milk to be sensually bonding, desirable and erotic, others will see it as perverse and disgusting. It’s a matter of individual sensibilities. So if you are involved with a woman that is lactating and sees the matter the same way as you, I would expect the two of you could have some very intriguing nights together.

Would you want your mate to suckle your breast milk?

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See my earlier post on Erotic Lactation.


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A Married Man and His Two Loves

A Question from a married man.

I have been married 45 years tomorrow 12/28. When I retired from an education career in 2007, I got into figure and portrait modeling. I also had a yen for erotic modeling, which I did. During some of those times, photographers played with me, and I loved it. Being a bit of an exhibitionist and a bit narcissistic I joined a number of male sites, e.g. silverdaddies and discreet. Got some attention. Met a few guys for sex. Now I have found a guy for whom I have grown very fond and am no longer interested in these sites I mentioned. Question: We have one son, who now has two little boys. Seeing how they poured all their love into the first child, they are doing beautifully sharing their love with the second child. It occurred to me that loving my wife and loving my new friend is something like a parent sharing love among children. Does this seem reasonable? possible? Contrary to your first line of advice, my wife does not know about my m2m experience or my new friend. What might be your thoughts on this sharing of love topic?

My reply:

Sounds like you have have a long, happy marriage, and a rewarding career. As it happens for so many guys in their later years, you have discovered the full extent of your sexuality. In a more perfect world, or at least a more understanding world, an intimate relationship with another man would be considered a natural wholesome circumstance, even for married guys. I have always believed a husband could be involved in an intimate relationship with another man without this being a reflection on how much he loves his wife.

But we don’t live in that world, and most wives can come nowhere near understanding a husband’s desire for a same-sex relationship. Most wives see it as betrayal and infidelity, thereby leaving you the choice of leading a secret life or going to your grave wondering what might have been. As I have stated before, it would be better if you could talk to your wife, have her understanding and at least her tacit approval of your friendship.

Knowing that’s not possible for most men, meaning probably you, and assuming you are being careful with your sexual explorations, I can’t find it within myself to discourage you from being who you are. If you were a young bisexual man about to propose to your girlfriend, I would say talk to her before you marry her. Make sure she knows who you are and what she is getting into. But in your case you’ve had a long time-honored marriage. After 45 years your wife knows how much you are devoted to her. Plus the years have provided time to evaluate your sexuality which has likely evolved. You have earned the right to live the  years that you have left as you wish, as does your wife.

I see your point about sharing your love between your wife and your friend equally, as you and your son have done between your children, but the conflict in this comparison is that the love for your children wasn’t built on a foundation of wedding vows. That leaves men like us in situations where we have to firmly believe we are essentially fair men that are simply faced with dealing with circumstances that most people cannot fathom, let alone understand. Therefore, being true to ourselves helps us to be true to those we love, even if it means we must keep a few secrets.

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A Woman’s Perspective on Bisexual Male Promiscuity

The following is an email from a lady that recently visited a website for bisexual men. I will not mention the website, but she came away feeling disturbed, understandably so.

“So I’ve had a bit of time to look over some blogs of bisexual men. The “xxx site”, as you may know is of a mostly gay bi married man who hasn’t told his wife. This guy’s blog is devoted to all of his sexual and some emotional affairs with men. My jaw is still on the floor. This guy has no problem lying to his wife. Why doesn’t he just tell her and let her go? I am not trying to make it seem easy, but this dude is consumed with his male relationships. He doesn’t mention any passion concerning his wife. He shows know remorse for his actions. This is what frightens women. And I know there are more blogs and many more men that think and act in the same manner.

“As I stated on your site, I’m trying to understand, but selfish, assholes like this make it incredibly difficult. This is why women run. This guy has had sex with , God knows how many men , and who knows he may pass something on to his wife …that is if he chooses to have sex with her…she is unknowingly having sex with everyone else he has been with. And no safe sex is 100%.

This is what goes through a woman’s mind. Nightmare scenarios such as this.”

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This is a dilemma many couples face; the email is a perspective offered by a female voice. The scenario has played out countless times: A young bisexual man wants a traditional life, meets a girl, falls in love and gets married, failing to tell to her about his sexuality before the vows are spoken. All to often, at some point in his life, his urges for men become overwhelming. This is when he has to make a decision; either grow old in quiet desperation; or finally discuss his sexuality with his wife, hoping the matter can be resolved to their mutual satisfaction; or secretly go behind her back.

If your wife or future wife loves you, your bisexuality will most likely not greatly impact how she feels about you. It’s how you plan to deal with your desires that will cause her concern. If you would like to be married and still have a like-minded friend, the best course is to marry a woman that understands and will agree to you having a friend, usually under mutually agreed to conditions.

Most bisexual men are loving, monogamous boyfriends or husbands. Their sexuality is but a facet of their personality. Enlightened Male is largely a bisexual website that condones non-monogamous relationships, but only if all concerned are agreed. However, there are some men that dearly love their wives but simply cannot tell her about his same-sex urges because of her point-of-view or nature. Some understanding here applies, but only under well thought out circumstances. A friend that happens to married, for example, a friend that can be trusted and doesn’t take risks with hookups, etc. Such friendships exist with varying degrees of intimacy, without risks to either of their wives.

The guy you're dating and love being with tells you he is bisexual.

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The following post reflects a woman’s greatest fear. The human condition can sometimes be gut-wrenching for those involved.

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Discreetly Looking For Anal Sex

A question from a bisexual married man.

I am a bisexual married man. I have never given or received anal sex,but I am curious as to what it feels like. I truly love my wife and I do no want to hurt her. I am from Pittsburgh I am 55 years old and in very good shape. How do I discreetly go about finding some one around 45 or older to have casual sex? Preferably married?

My reply:

Few are more liberal than me when it comes to human sexuality, but the bonds of marriage cast a whole different light on the issue of male bisexuality. By asking this question you are asking me to condone your desire to do something behind your wife’s back that amounts to infidelity, which is something I can’t condone. Therefore, you’ll not like my primary answer, but I’ll give it to you anyway.

Marriage is a sacred trust between two people. Break that trust and you will have lost your most cherished possession, and you’ll never get it back. You may even lose your wife, not to mention the risks of STDs to both of you. I hate to sound like a preacher, but it’s important for you to weigh the consequences of what you are contemplating.

At the same time your urges are natural, something you and many other men were born with, urges that usually become more compelling as we grow older. The best course of action is to figure out a way to talk to your wife, to let her know you are bisexual and would like to have a like-minded friend, preferably a married friend. After a long ride on an emotional roller coaster, perhaps you and your wife can come to terms, while at the same time you have been honest with her. And even though it’s not the same thing, you might even be able to introduce the notion of having anal sex with her, as both the giver and receiver. The only other honest option is to accept the fact you have committed yourself to a marriage, and then resolve to quietly live out your life without knowing what it’s like to experience anal intercourse.

That said, it’s advice that’s so often not practical. Because of your wife’s sensibilities and/or her upbringing, she simply may not be able to accept your bisexuality, yet for you the desire to be with a man only grows stronger. And since you love your wife and want to grow old with her, you face the dilemma of doing something that seems natural to you and won’t hurt her if she doesn’t find out. A large percentage of men who are in the same boat will act on their urges.

Since that sounds like you, and you have reason to be discreet, I recently posted an article on a website called Dizcreet, a social networking site for bisexual men, and a good place to meet a friend. You could check it out, but before you do, think long and hard about the potentially life-changing event you are thinking about. You may meet a new friend and find out what anal sex is like, but you will also have to live with lying to your wife. Even if you didn’t get caught, there are consequences you will have to live with.

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Anal Sex … A Question About the Mysterious Taboo

I didn’t know it was anal sex . . .

I wanted to share an experience, something I haven’t told anyone about which happened once or maybe twice. When I was 5 or 6 years old my elder brother who at that time would’ve been around 12 or 13, got me naked and rubbed his penis in my ass crack, and surprisingly enough I enjoyed it even though I didn’t know at the time that it was something sexual. That feeling has been in my mind since. Not that I’m attracted to my brother, or any men, but I did like that feeling of something against my ass.

Does that mean something ?

Contemplating Anal Sex.My Reply:

This is the kind of thing almost all boys do at some point or another, usually out of natural curiosity. Young boys naturally like doing things they aren’t supposed to, especially things that are naughty. It’s part of growing up. You didn’t know your brother’s activity was sexual, but you most likely knew it was something that you didn’t want to get caught doing. That coupled with the fact it felt good is what caused it to lodge in your memory all these years in a positive way.

The bigger picture has to do with the sensitive nerve endings in that part of your body, which is the reason so many adults, both men and women, enjoy anal sex. Anal sex is common and is a normal part of the retinue of sexual pleasures. In fact anal sex is one of the most intimate of sexual pleasures. Many people associate anal sex with gay activity, which of course it is, but certainly not limited to gay men. Straight men can enjoy it as well, with dildos during masturbation, or with fingers or adult toys with their wives or girlfriends.

Contemplating Anal Sex.

So the memory that’s whispering in your ear is something else you can ponder and explore. If you have a girlfriend, you might want to introduce her to anal sex by using your fingers or tongue, then you can judge by her response whether or not she would like to explore further. Or you might want to explore by yourself, using plenty of lubrication and an appropriately shaped toy or vegetable. You might, if you are single and have a like-minded friend, consider a little exploring with him. Just have fun and don’t worry about what other misguided people might think.

See my article called The Mysterious Taboo


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Help Me … I’m Having a Same-Sex Fantasy

My name is Abhay and I’m 18. I’m a big fan of Enlightened Male and I find it quite interesting. For like an year or so I’m in a dilemma and I feel that you’re the perfect person to help me with it. I’m having a same-sex fantasy and they are sexual in nature. It’s not like I’m attracted to the same sex but I do have urges to perform oral sex or please a man. The more I think about it the more intense the fantasy becomes, but when I masturbate it’s all gone and I feel disgusted. I don’t know what to do. The emotions are very intense.

My Reply:

Many straight men have same-sex fantasies. Often in the aftermath of a climax, they feel the same kind of disgust and shame you do. First of all, the fantasy is normal. By having the fantasy, it doesn’t automatically follow you are latent gay or even bisexual. A fantasy is just that, a fantasy and nothing more. Almost everyone has them and they are often out-of-character for the individual. In other words, people get turned on by their fantasies but they would never dream of actually acting on them. So the solution is to simply accept the fact your fantasy turns you on and enjoy masturbating to it.

As for the disgust you feel afterwards: I believe this is rooted in our lifelong indoctrination of what it means to be a “real” man. You’ve been taught that real men would never have oral sex with another man, or even think about it; therefore you feel disgusted and guilty after your climaxes. It’s important to remember the fantasy is normal and means nothing. It has nothing to do with your sexuality or who you are. In the event your fantasy takes on more significance as you grow older, there is nothing wrong with that either. I personally believe it is natural for men to feel a real desire for other men, and that most men feel this way to some degree or another, though many wouldn’t never admit it or act on it.

So be yourself. Enjoy your fantasies. With a little determination, I think your feelings of disgust will eventually evaporate like a wisp of smoke.

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Does Body-type Relate to Male Bisexuality?

I have been married 18 years. Fresh out of Service, I was a Varsity Letterman in Football, Baseball and wrestling. Did do a circle jerk once when my team made it to the Finals As drunk as we were it was fun. My problem: I am a Fire Fighter and married 2 kids. What I want to know, does body type have anything to do with male bisexuality? Being on squad and married makes that life seem impossible. Any suggestions for me? Really freaking out over this.

Pondering male bisexuality.My Reply:

Oddly enough I have wondered about this in the past. Judging by your amazing history, I’m guessing you are a muscular, athletic man … in other words a big guy teaming with testosterone. Most of the firefighters I know fit this description. I also know fire departments are macho places to work, an environment very few would ever admit to their same-sex attractions, though I’m sure it is more common than you would think.

Fact is male bisexuality or same-sex attractions have nothing to do with your body type and everything to do with your genes. Sexual attraction and arousal are instincts, which are imprinted on our genes, humans and animals alike. Without the this genetic imprint, observing the human body, opposite sex or the same sex, would be nothing more than a passing curiosity.

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Strap-ons … A Man’s Secret Fantasy

Strap-ons. Do Men (boyfriends/husbands) secretly wish their girlfriend/wife would use one?

This question from a reader:

I was wondering your thoughts on women using strap-ons on their male partners. I rather enjoy this and find it helps with my bi urges.

Women who use strap-ons.My reply:

Whether we realize it or not, whether we want to admit it or even consider it, our anuses are are part of our sexual persona and a remarkable source of pleasure. It is also a part of our body many of us have been programmed to believe is taboo, dirty or objectionable. For a different view see a previous post entitled: Anuses … The Mysterious Taboo.

Women who use strap-ons.Of course by including your and/or your partner’s anus in an evening of romantic adventure doesn’t have to mean anal intercourse. It can simply involve caresses, fingers and tongues, or perhaps a well designed toy. Let me assure you that this has the potential to add a dimension to your relationship that will take you and your partner to a whole new level of intimacy.

Women who use strap-ons.But the question here has to do with women using a strap-on, which means she is going to fuck you instead of you fucking her for a change. This is where the notion stops for most guys. They worry, by suggesting a strap-on penis, their wife/girlfriend will think they aregay (no doubt a good many women would). Secondly, they can’t even imagine how to bring a subject like this up. Or maybe the guy himself thinks it’s a gay thing and wouldn’t consider anything inserted into his anus, let alone a fake penis. Even if he has considered it, wouldn’t it hurt?

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For Women ... Would You Use a Strap-on?

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For Men ... Would You Want Your Lady to Use a Strap-on?

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