For some of us Mother Nature deals unusual cards when it comes to our genes. We’re born and the day comes we realize we’re attracted to both sexes. Call it an anomaly if you want, but for a surprisingly high percentage of us, it is very real. Bisexuality, no matter how a person chooses to deal with it, is an ever-present phantom in one’s life. If you happen to be a man and have chosen to spend your life with a woman, bisexuality can haunt you for your entire life, not that you don’t love and cherish her. No matter how much you love her, something important is missing. If you’re the woman married to this man and love him dearly, you face a unique and difficult challenge, though it’s a challenge that can be overcome.
As a gift to Mr. Rob for this Christmas season, his wife wrote this piece for his blog: The Bi-married Mafia
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My journey has been filled with so many ups and downs, but what journey isn’t. The ups and downs are not just limited to unique relationships like ours. And I have come to realize ours is not the only “unique” relationship out there. You have to do what you need to do to make it work for you. I had to stop comparing things to others’ relationships or to what I had always believed to be “the norm”. “Normal” is such a subjective word anyway. What is “normal” for one isn’t for another. My journey….still an ongoing process. But I believe that any relationship that is growing is an ongoing process. The moment we stop growing is the time we need to worry.
Before we were married, my husband told me about his attractions to men. Both of us felt it was not something that we needed to worry about. We were young and very involved in a church which taught this was something that you could overcome. We were in love.
A few years ago, my husband brought it up again. He had an incredible void in his life which needed to be filled…a void which could not be filled by me. I could see the pain and struggle he was in. Not that I was lacking anything…no one person can fill everything in one person’s life. In my naiveté, I thought this could be filled with a “gay best friend” and I encouraged it. I have always given my husband every freedom to be. I try not to stand in his way of expressing himself and finding out who he was meant to be, knowing that is important to him. But I also had understood that we were in a monogamous relationship and not once did my mind wander to him being with a man physically. This was not something that I worried about. Neither of us was wired to cheat on the other. We had our ups and downs, but this just wasn’t something that would “happen to us”.
He did find this best friend. They hung out and did things together. This man became very important to my husband and even became part of our family. We would vacation together and hang out on holidays. Their relationship was filled with ups and downs, but I assumed it was due to the fact they were both strong personalities. After about 3 years, the relationship ended. It was at that time that my husband confided in me the extent of their relationship.


















