This is a comment written yesterday by a man named Jay. Since many of us are walking the same path, I thought I would call it to your attention . . .
Since puberty I have been more or less self-conscious about the small size of my penis. This has not however kept me from enjoying many happy sexual moments with men whose penises have usually been larger than mine. I am now in my sixties, and a new factor has entered my life. I was diagnosed with an enlarged prostate and put on a prostate-shrinking drug. The drug relieves my symptoms (frequent urination) but also seems to have caused my penis to shrink, even though it can sometimes reach the size it had when erect in the past. I realize that some shrinking of penis size is normal as men age. But now when I look in the mirror naked, I see a really small penis and this depresses me (and makes me self-conscious in the shower room).
In short, I pretty well accepted having a small endowment, but now that endowment seems to be becoming even shorter! Groan. I feel that many older men, particularly those on prostate meds, may be experiencing this phenomenon. Sorry to say it, but it does affect one’s self-esteem at least somewhat.
Having thought about this for the past year, I have come to the conclusion that the great advice on this site also applies to me and men like me. Be happy with what I’ve got, appreciate my penis as a beautiful part of me, and pay no attention to anybody who might turn a disapproving eye on it. But let’s be honest: it’s hard to stay positive about this. A loving partner can be very helpful. And I think it’s also helpful to be upfront with any partner, to let him know that “Hey, I’m still in here, still the same sexy guy I always was.” I plan to visit several old friends this summer (who have been sex partners of mine in the past), and I intend to be very honest with them and be proud of who I am and what I still have to offer. We might even have a good chuckle about it, and then get on with all the intimacy we can muster.
And it should go without saying, good sex is far more than penis size. The whole body is capable of amazing sensations and pleasures. The “blessing” in this may be that it de-emphasizes the focus on the penis during sex and leads us to new vistas. Like so much in life—as we grow more mature, we can become more mindful and sensitive towards ourselves and our partner. Good wishes to all who find themselves on this path.
If Jay’s message impacted you the way it has me, your heart has gone out to a thoughtful man. A man in his sixties, based on the all to familiar size matters comments, the jokes and teasing, has endured an unwarranted emotional dilemma by simply seeing his penis in a mirror. The emotional pangs are even present by being with or seeing larger size men. Jay is a man many of us can identity with.
Jay is also a man that has gone beyond the superficial mores of human intimacy so common in those who are basically out for no more than a piece of ass. He has discovered the essence of life’s most valued gift, that sex is so much more than being penetrated by an enormous penis, that human intimacy does not begin and end with a man’s dick.
Reread Jay’s last paragraph. It reflects a profound and basic truth.
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No one appreciates the beauty of the male body more than a sculptor. Sculptors understand the rhythm and harmony of muscle and bone, the ebb and flow of masculine curves and angles, the balance and symmetry of form and function. They understand the uniquely male nuances that compliment the sexual male creature. From the earliest days of Greece and Rome, sculptors have been giving their magnificent creations smaller penises than what is widely considered a more desirable penis size by today’s cultural standards, which has led to countless men agonizing over their smaller size. Far less emphasis is put on the magic of an emotional and physical sexual experience between a man and a woman, or two men; physical in the sense that the penis should play a smaller and relatively bittersweet role in human intimacy. (When the penis comes into play in it’s intended role, the encounter is just about over.) The “size matters” notion precludes the more dramatic part of a sexual encounter such as the visual aspects, the touching and exploring, and the unhurried uses of our fingers and tongues. The savoring of natural body smells, of taste and textures and visual pleasure. For those with the “size matters” mindset, they may be cheating themselves out of some very special relationships.
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