Small Penis Anxiety

David is concerned about his penis size.

I am 23 years old and have a small penis, around 3.5 – 4″ when erect. I had one long-term relationship between the ages of 16 and 19 but haven’t been with a girl since then. I am worried about putting myself out there because of my size. What advice can you give me to help with this anxiety? Thanks.

My Reply:

David, welcome to a world populated by a lot of guys. What a shame so many men find it nearly impossible to enjoy their penises because they are so self-conscious about its size. Every man, big or small, should be able to enjoy one of Mother Nature’s grandest gifts without reservations of this kind. Some men are inhibited not by the size of their penis, but because of the indoctrinations they have suffered from their earliest years. They were taught their penises are dirty or naughty. Who knows which of these anxieties are worse.

I suggest you look at the poll on penis size preference. You’ll find it in this article. Sure, the majority of women prefer a larger size, but better than a third say penis size is not important to them or they prefer smaller penises. That’s the answer to your problem, seeking out the right young woman (or the right man for those looking for a same-sex relationship).

Picture yourself dating a girl. The two of you seem to be going in the right direction. At some point early on, you should bright up the subject. Imagine the two of you are having coffee into the wee hours of the morning, talking about all kinds of things. There should come an opportunity to tell her you would like to say something personal. Tell her you are self-conscious about your penis size, that you fall just below average, that it’s something you don’t want to worry about in a relationship that goes beyond being just friends.

I believe, if you have found the right girl, by bringing this up you will have automatically won a big chunk of her heart. She will be endeared by a man that is brave enough and comfortable enough to talk about his inner emotions. You will discover whether or not she is the right girl. Then, when the two of you first get naked together, you can enjoy your body the way you’re supposed to. Imagine what a relief that would be. On the other hand, if she’s not the right girl, maybe the two of you can still be friends.

Other than that, most of solving the problem is up to you. Suck it up and recognize the fact that we’re not all Charles Atlas. You can either enjoy your body and who you are, or you can consign yourself to a long life of feeling inadequate. Ignore all the size matters tripe that’s all too common on the Internet. And learn more about women, what they like and how to drive them wild by knowing their erogenous zones. Master the myriad ways a guy can satisfy a woman without even using his penis, and then be considered a prize lover.

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Male Modesty … A Modern Phenomena

Naked Men

Reposted from www.patheos.com

By Marc

I think it’s fair to say that the average man exposed to the above advertisement is either:

a) uproariously amused, under the impression that it is fake or

b) painfully creeped out, under the realization that it is real or

c) a little of both.

As it turns out, the advertisement is real.

As men, we need to confront the obvious fact that, as awkward as Bradley’s group showers may appear to us now, it certainly didn’t appear so to the men who bought and sold Bradley’s group showers then. If a man were to submit this ad to the Washington Post today, he’d undoubtedly be rejected as a prankster. Less than 100 years ago, however, this ad was accepted and displayed. Male nudity just ain’t what it used to be.

And this isn’t some big secret. As The Oatmeal has it:

Our grandfathers are far more comfortable than us in their own skin. Thus modern men are left with two possible conclusions:

1. They’re weird.

2. We’re weird.

And though I’d like it to be otherwise, it seems that we’re the odd ducks: Our modern timidity over the naked male form is silly, unprecedented, and ultimately a detriment to the manly life.

At no point in history have men been overtly nervous over their own bodies.Whether in the Roman baths, Greek Olympics, or in medieval Europe — where public nudity was common in bathhouses, and even priests appeared completely nude in certain religious processions — there has been ease about men, a confidence and a certain peace in the display of the human form.

Then came Puritanism. I’m sure we remember our history, so I won’t bother with the full progression of the revolt against the allowances, worldliness and fleshliness of the old, liturgical religions. I’ll simply give the end result:

Puritanism saw the world — the flesh, material goods, etc. — as evil, perishable stuff, good only for ‘getting over’. The world is fallen, in the clutches of Satan, and the goal of the Christian man is to reject it in favor of the spiritual world. The body — as part of the material world — is an essentially confusing thing, filled with dirty desires, concupiscence, unwieldy passions, bewildering emotions, depressions, rages and all the rest. It is not something beautiful — it is flesh to be transcended.

Thus a culture developed in which it was considered poor taste to say “thigh” or “breast” in conversation, and even perspiration and digestion became taboo topics. But hold up! you may rightly protest. We’re no longer Puritans! In fact, many of us are not Continue reading

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Nekkid Ned

There is something about a guy that has reached a level of calm self-assurance, of comfort with his own body, of adventure that he uses his photographic skills to display these enviable qualities to the entire world.

Meet Nekkid Ned. No that’s not his real name, but it’s close. And nekkid he is.

Ned is in his twenties. He’s just under six feet tall and weighs around 140, all-in-all quite a nice package. Born in the midwest, Ned is a college grad that has lived most of his life on the east coast.

Should you happen to fall asleep in his bed, here is what you would wake up to. Unless someone was in the kitchen frying bacon, you probably wouldn’t be thinking about breakfast.

Ned has used the Internet to fulfill his daily quota of naked men pictures, hence these of himself. They are Ned’s way of contributing back. That said, I don’t know if he chose this spot for a photo shoot, or if he just enjoys hanging out on the roof naked.

Ned’s own words:

“I think the human body is a beautiful thing, and theoretically, everyone should be able to express themselves and “let it all hang out” without being judged or demeaned because of it. In reality, there’s no way in hell I’d be so open to the world outside of my apartment and the semi-anonymity of the internet.”

Okay, what good is a collection of photographs without a few closeups?

In case you’re wondering, Ned hasn’t shared any of the above very intimate, masculine nuances with anyone just yet. He is “one of those” who still operates on a notion of finding the right person to share a love life with.

Again, Ned’s own words: Continue reading

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A Man From Gloucestershire

Terry just reached what he calls an old age of 47 last month. He has Paul McCartney’s eyes. Must be an English trait.

Terry has fun being a man. He has fun with his penis, wanking it certainly, but also taking pictures of it.

Pictures of his privates run from whimsical, to artistic, to sensuous. He is a novice photographer who loves taking pictures as a hobby.

Terry’s motivation in photography is not just taking photo’s of himself, but of anything that catches his eye: wild life, landscapes, stills, etc.

He enjoys taking pictures because it relaxes him from the stresses of work and and every day life. He says you can make a story unfold from a photo, almost like when your reading a book … you can almost read between the lines.

Terry is gay and single … still trying to find a sole mate, he says. He has a good relationship with his brother who is straight and married. The two men participate in impromptu photo shoots now and then.

Terry sincerely believes the human body is beautiful.  He says: “We can see, by looking at a nude male or female, what we can’t see in ourselves; that in ourselves we see more of what we might not like, while others may see it differently. And when we get a nice comment we feel validated, which encourages a guy like me to take more photos.”About his attraction to men, Terry says: “At work, if I see a good looking guy, I have this Continue reading

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An Englishman

One of the reasons I love having this blog is because it puts me in contact with some interesting, beautiful men. Of the more popular features, those looked at the most are the articles on average guys, guys who share their thoughts and their bodies. This article is about an Englishman. He’s sharing a lot with us, but for reasons you understand, he chooses not to share his identity. The following statements are his own words.

For a man who is always been quite mindful about body image and never all that comfortable with my body, or at least drawing comparisons with other men’s bodies, it was a big step for me to strip off for a photo shoot.

When I was 15 I had an operation on my chest to correct a pigeon chest leaving me with a big scar, and I was always very skinny growing up until like most men my metabolism changed and gravity started working against me.

Having said that I find as I get older I care less and less about what people think and become more confident and comfortable with the shape of my body. I have been at the gym for about 5 months and plan on building up core strength rather than become a muscle Mary.

I did the photo shoot to mark the change in my body shape and keep as a reminder for myself in years to come. Sorry for the head being chopped off.

The thing I like about this website and in general is the bodies come in all shapes and sizes which makes this life such an interesting one, if we were all the same there would be no joy or interest.

[My thanks] to Martin for his brilliant work in showing normal men, with normal bodies, in a humble way.

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A Dutchman Shares His Private Thoughts

You might wonder why such a beautiful, well shaped man would be hesitant to undress before a prospective partner.  You might even be willing to give up almost anything you own to hung like that, to be able to shower in the gym without modesty, or walk along a nude beach and watch heads turns with envy and admiration.  So what would a man like Jozef be self-conscious about?  Why would he agonize in the days and hours before an intimate date with a new partner?

Jozef is like so many of us who are haunted by Mother Nature’s creativity.  It happened on an occasion with a woman who takes notice of his chest.  One comment was all it took.  Words.  Words of surprise or shock or amazement.  Words said that enter our minds like a tsunami and desecrate our self-esteem and masculinity.

“God!” she says, “you’ve got massive nipples.  They even larger than mine!”

.

The damage is done.  Where he once enjoyed his nipples and played with them (still does but who wouldn’t?), he now sees his unique chest as a source of shame.

It’s the same story.  A boy is made fun of in the junior high locker room because of his small penis.  It could have been his big ears, or his crooked teeth, or maybe his butt looks like a girl’s.  One sentence is all it takes, or a mocking laugh, and a young man is destined to suffer his perceived ‘flaw’ for the rest of his life.  If it happened to Jozef in the Netherlands, it’s not just an American thing–it happens to boys and young men all over the world.  So what can be said to change these perceptions of our self image?  Both Jozef and I, along with many others, are hoping what is said on this site is taking a first step in that direction.  Men are beautiful creations, glorious in their diverse designs–it’s no more complicated than that.  I hope Jozef has learned to celebrate his beautiful nipples, to share them eagerly, and that he’s aware of the fact that there are countless men lusting after him because of these pictures.  He stated his goal, shared by me, a quote from Ghandi: “I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.”

In his own words from a fascinating man:

In my life, that is at least for the first 25 of them, I have been too shy and my upbringing too Catholic to approach people with a sexual intent. Instead from a very young age I have in that period always been hit on by man and woman alike. I have never felt any uneasiness with either sex until in my late teens I learned about the term homosexuality. The way men and women kept approaching me never changed though. I got more weary of gay men and felt uncomfortable by some of there uninhibited actions but secretly, at least for the next 20 years, I enjoyed male sex. At 42 after another break up with a woman and several hundreds of male sexual experiences I was single and choose to stay that way to sort out my complex sexual life. I continued with having sexual experiences with men and women and it showed me after time that I was happy with myself by myself. I didn’t need anybody for my happiness. As before I always needed people of whatever gender to make me feel wanted and now I was happy just being with me. Sex became less urgent and wasn’t an escape anymore to feel loved. With sex more in the background then ever before and after 4 years on my own I met a woman. I didn’t fell in love with her (for the first time in my life!) but had this incredible attraction to her when we hugged. I felt comfortable and at home with this simple move. No sexual arousal whatsoever. After that short moment, it lasted maybe 5 secs, I saw her a couple of times but we just had conversation. I told her very honestly without any holding back about my life and what I wanted from it. I was at a stage in my life (and she obviously had the demeanour) to be comfortable at being fully open about myself, it felt like a catharsis. Before on several occasions I had always spoken to newly met woman whom I felt attracted to with reservation when it concerned my sexual attraction towards men. Not now though. I let it all out and it felt very powerful. Nothing to lose, nothing to gain. Just being me. After that we saw each other regular and we had sex too but that didn’t feel anymore as the major deciding part of a good foundation for a relationship. For the first time in my life sex wasn’t anymore the deciding factor to feel good with another human being. It was the connection we had which was and still is the main pillar in our relationship. After some months we decided to live together and with my first trip abroad I found condoms in my wash bag and I hadn’t put them there! With that statement she honoured our agreement that sex outside our relationship was accepted as long as it was done safe. Two things have changed me since them. First I haven’t felt the urgency as much anymore to hunt and score. Secondly I am more and more in love with my wife ( been together now 10 years and married for 3) and can’t see any reason to change that. I still very much enjoy sexual encounters mainly with men since most men, whether gay, bi or ‘straight’, are like me into quick sexual release. So far I have never felt attracted to men in a way that I would want to be with them on a daily basis. It has always been sex driven. Same with women actually, accept for now with Rosie. Love and lust, they are definitely separate but can be so (confusingly at times) close too.

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Feminine Hygiene*

Vaginal Odor

Sometimes it seems we are at war with Mother Nature when it comes to our bodies, especially here in the United States.  I have offered a point-of-view on penis size and have talked about “normal labia”.  This article concerns the odors our bodies produce.  No, I’m not talking about bodies that have gone unwashed for several days.  I am talking about natural odors; in this case, vaginal odors.  The difference between this and other articles on feminine hygiene is this one is from a non-clinical male perspective.

As a writer, the word odor seems a little harsh concerning this or any other part of a woman’s body.  Natural fragrance might be more appropriate, but I’ll stay with the word odor because it covers a broad spectrum of smells, from good to bad.  Popcorn, for example, produces an odor, but most of us find the smell quite delicious, just as most men are captivated by the natural smell of a woman’s vagina .  You’ve seen or heard of men who have inhaled deeply when holding a day-old pair of panties over his face–it’s not the smell of the perfume she used that he’s after.

I’m certain there are many men, given the choice of burying their face in a freshly-washed deodorized vagina, or the one that belongs to a woman who has been on a long walk, would choose the deodorant soap.  I believe these men are handicapped by a misguided social doctrine, that they are depriving themselves of a woman’s essence, and that they are men who do n’t know how to appreciate a woman’s body.  After all, sex is best enjoyed with all five senses and the sense of smell may very well be the most powerful.  I’ve been there.  It looks like a vagina.  It feels like one.  Then you lick it expecting ice cream and get bland frozen water.  Or on the other hand, nurtured by a little time and accompanied by her natural secretions, her pheromones sets your mind sailing.

The simple truth is it’s Mother Nature’s grand design.  Though we’re loath to compare ourselves to the animal world, consider man’s best friend.  When a male dog comes up behind a female dog and takes a rather intrusive sniff, what he smells is telling him everything he needs to know.  If it’s a female, it takes hold of him and puts his train-of-thought in a new direction.  Like it or not, it’s much the same for us humans.  The natural bouquet the vagina produces sends zingers throughout a man’s body.  Along with the psychology of the moment, and the visuals involved, it directs his mind in only one direction.  All of your feminine wiles play a roll, but none of them stiffens his penis as effectively as the way you smell.  Do you really want to give any part of this up?

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Intimate Male Waxing

Penis Waxing

From PenisWaxing.Com

Sensual shaving is a fairly common procedure and the topic of shaving your testicles is frequently found in the search engines online. While this might have begun as an erotic procedure for the aficionados of smooth balls – or as my friend likes to call it, his textiles – the whole concept of smoothness has moved to a whole new level with the idea of penis waxing.

shaved pubic hair

Before going on to talk about the how-tos and whys of penis waxing, there is a double meaning in the phrase. So let’s look at the other meaning of penis waxing which involves in covering the entire penis in a sheath of wax. This is similar to having hot wax drizzled over your cock but is more intense. You heat up wax and smooth it over the penis covering it from tip to base. Once the first layer is molded to the cock, you can add on other layers and each new layer reheats your member. The hardened wax presents a lovely challenge which is to maintain your hard-on inside the waxy encasement. Removing the wax can be fun too.

But that is not the kind of waxing I’m talking about.

The kind of waxing I am talking about is sometimes known as Brazilian waxing. This refers to the waxing of the entire genital and intimate areas of your body. Your penis, your bag, and your anus are waxed along with the groin and pubic area.

Whether it is considered a downside or an upside, you might find that the procedure gives you an erection. Brazilian waxing is not necessarily a pleasant feeling – but in reality pleasure is in the sensations of the individual and the sort of sensations that go along with such waxing might be considered. For some people, a little extra pain is pleasurable; for others a lot of extra pain is even more pleasurable. These are things to consider when you think about having a wax job. Having a erection during the waxing is a bonus because it’s a lot easier to wax a hard cock than it is to wax a soft one.

Needless to say you are not going to doze off during the procedure. Hard or soft, you are going to need to help the waxer hold your skin tight and shift your shaft so the waxer can get a good grip on the skin that needs to be waxed.

shaved pubic hairThe Experience

There are two schools of thought on having a procedure such as penis waxing done. One is that the less you know about it the better. Just get someone who knows what they are doing when it comes to wielding the wax spatula and muslin to wax your happy pole and don’t anticipate pain or pleasure but just let it happen. You can make a better appraisal after the fact whether you liked it or not.

Some people say that once you start waxing you cannot stop. That’s not the case at all. Even after years of waxing, you can stop. Sure your hair will be finer and not quite as dense when it does grow back in. But as for not starting at all because you are afraid that it will become an ongoing issue of upkeep and tending that you will never be able to stop – do not give that a second thought.

Anyway, as I was saying, the other school of thought is that the more you know about something before you try it, the better off you are.

The two opposite sides of this coin presented a bit of a problem when I started describing this to you. I wanted to give some information to those of you who might have questions to ask and so far, that is just what has taken place here. Then I realized that the best thing to do is to present the technical details and the personal details. So first, let’s look at the personal details and after there I’ll talk more about the process and procedure.

Why – and this is the big question – would you want to have your penis waxed?

shaved pubic hairI was at a party with half a dozen friends and we talked about the notion of having a penis wax job done. Guy had been thinking about it and read up on it and was dithering about whether or not to go. I know Guy and knew that all it would take would be for someone else to say, “You know, I think I’ll give it a try,” and Guy would race to the nearest waxing salon and get his cock stripped just so he could say he was the first.

So – well you know what I did – I said, I’d try it.

Sure enough, Guy was off to the salon. Actually the salon did not make a practice of waxing wangs but Guy convinced them to try it – his argument was that it could not be much more difficult than waxing a bikini line.

The salon owner is a bit of a friend of Guy’s so of course, Guy got his waxing done.

It was marvelous, it was amazing, it was entirely painless, Guy extolled the virtues of having a clean, smooth penis. It just looks so much bigger, he says, and more marble-like. The feel of stroking it goes way beyond the usual skin-to-skin sensations. His fingertips were tingling from the sheer smoothness of his cock. “I just did not want to stop playing with it. You know what the problem was – if someone else was playing with it, I would only get one end of the sensational experience. My cock would feel the hands and mouth on it but it would not be my hands and my mouth getting feedback on that sensation.

But playing with his own cock was a whole new pleasure experience for Guy and he figured that if he could find someone else who had been waxed, perhaps that would be the best approach. Each of them could experience the giving and taking when it came to the same experience being shared.

I wanted my friend who was a licensed cosmetician to come to my house and wax my cock for me. But unlike Guy I didn’t want to announce that I was doing it. For one thing, I was not entirely sure that I could stand the hairs being ripped by the root from my stalwart companion. I’ve been into manscaping – having my pubes shaved into neat little shapes for years. But as for having hot wax slathered over Mr. Happy – that is another deal entirely.

My buddy set the mood to relaxation mode and chatted about interesting things while he went to work. No surprise, Mr. Happy sat right up long and tall at the first touch of the latex gloved hand, even before the first tiny application of wax.

“I’m only going to do a wee patch to begin,” my pal said. “That way if you change your mind, you won’t be going around half-waxed.”

The sensation was twingy but at the same time, intensely erotic. It was more pleasing than not but at the same time, I have to admit that even a low level of pain is not for everyone. (I have a high pain threshold – but that is another story.)

Guy was wild with excitement when we met again for drinks after work on Friday. He kept going on and on about the exquisite pleasure of a blow job – “it was so great – the entire length and I mean all of it – covered with lips and mouth and I could feel tongue on shaft like never before.”

Did it hurt? Someone asked.

“Who can remember?” What came after was so much better, any pain was worth it.

Even the guys on Second Life are getting waxed

My friend had told me that I should wait 24 hours before any sexual activity so I was somewhat skeptical about Guy’s immediate performance but he is impulsive so who knows?

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Nude Yoga for Men: Interview with Per Erez

It’s not about being gay or straight or bisexual.  It’s about being a man and a man’s natural desire to be with those like him.  The nudity simply makes the experience more prophetic.  It’s about being a thoughtful man, uninhibited by the shackles imposed by homophobic mores and society’s misguided strictures of shame.  Thanks to Per Erez, male body acceptance is alive and well in Chicago.

yoga1PerErez

An Interview with Per Erez . . .

From chicagoist.com

Despite their initial reservations, men in Chicago are turning the other cheek and joining all-male nude yoga classes, an exercise the Associated Press calls “a form of sensualized yoga practiced nude.” Per (pronounced “Pear”) Erez, who teaches the classes in his private Rogers Park studio, limits the number of men who attend the sessions in order to “establish clarity of intention” and to provide a more “individualized approach to teaching.” Erez, 43, a well-established yoga instructor who has taught traditional “clothed” yoga for over 20 years (Oprah Winfrey is a former client), believes practicing nude yoga offers men a chance to be less concerned about “how they show up physically on their mat,” and gradually reduces “their own inner critical voice about what the male form should look like in others.”

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Chicagoist: What is the number one question you get asked by beginners?

Per Erez: Oddly enough, it is probably not what most people would think. When I first began teaching these classes, I got much of what I called the “Big E” question from men who were concerned about bodily responses during classes. You will find frank discussions of erections commonly labored over on almost all the nude yoga Web sites across the country—including mine. The most common question I get these days, however, revolves around men who want to join, but who happen to hold positions of authority or esteem in their local communities. On several occasions, rabbis, pastors, teachers, doctors, and even a few politicians have asked what happens if a patient, congregant, student, etc. comes to the same session they plan on attending.

yoga3

C: And how do you calm these fears, Per?

PE: I don’t, in particular, have one answer, because I think students concerns about disclosure and revelation of nude yoga practice don’t all come from the same place. Some realize they won’t have to worry about losing their jobs for example, but social ostracism is more the issue. Some prospective students are more concerned with how co-workers or friends might think them unconventional or downright silly for even considering yoga like this.

Ultimately, I encourage members not to share anything more about themselves than their first name (or a name they would like to use) if they are uncomfortable; like all transformations, at some point, one has to be willing to step to the edge of current self-knowledge in order to explore the unknown self on the other side. Practicing this way is about taking that first step with lots of support and safety.

yoga6

C: What were your initial concerns related to teaching an all-male nude yoga class?

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Would You Want to be 100% Straight?

So you’ve recognized the fact you’re attracted to men.  Is that something you regret?  If you walked into a French Quarter voodoo shop in New Orleans and found, among the spider eggs, fly wings, and toad stools, a magic potion that would make you 100% straight, would you grab it up and drink it as fast as you could?

emotion1

How many gay or bisexual men have asked themselves this question?  I bet 99% of them.  What if a pill would do it, would you swallow two or three  and then stare at yourself in the mirror, waiting for the change, wondering what you will look like straight?  Or perhaps you find out about a tribal dance practiced by young warriors in Kenya that makes real men out of boys; would you put on a loincloth, take up a spear and give it hell around a backyard bonfire come the next full moon?  Given the circumstances gay and bisexual men face in our misguided society, it’s little wonder if some of them would.

man_thinking2

But when you get under the surface, below the lifetime of negative self-images and male identity questions, all that history that has glommed together to comprise your uniqueness, would you really want to give up one of the most vivid colors in your rainbow?  You’ve finally gotten past all those gender-identity issues and have learned how to let your thoughts blossom without self-imposed limits–would you really want to force all that  vital roundness back into such a small square hole?

in-thought

Your liberated sexuality defines far more than the shape of the human body that attracts you, it’s interrelated with other facets of your persona.  It’s likely to make people perceive you as interesting, whether they know about your sexuality or not.  It plays a role in the books you chose to read, the movies you choose to see, the places you choose to travel to, the friends you choose.  Without it, you may not even be interested in books, or you may find yourself lined up with the masses at the next college coed exploitation movie.  You might even identify with those guys in TV beer commercials, heaven forbid.

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